Funny bicyle related insults
- Thread starter spleen123
- Start date
You race downhill? You must be lazy
Back in highschool my friend had his bike ripped off from his garage. Naturally while driving around he would randomly shout out at guys "Hey that's my bike!!!" one day he yelled at a guy "Hey, that's my bike!!!..... Wait, ****! That IS my bike!!" Luckily enough the guy handed the bike over without much conflict.
Insult story:
In the summer we like to use the warm nights for urban night sessions. A pack of us were cruising around on our bikes and stopped at the store for a water/snack break. As we're sitting there a guy shouts out the window of his car "Get a car!" as his piece of crap car back fires while the exhaust drags on the ground, rear hatch held shut with a bungee chord and back window is replaced with a duct tape drape.
Sorry to tell you this bro, but I've got more money into this bike I'm sitting on than anyone would ever give you for that junker you call a car.
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Not an intentional insult, but a common one:
Me: "Blah blah...I ride bikes"
Girl or someone outside the sport: "Oh, you mean like dirt bikes?"
Me: "No, mountain bikes."
Other person:"Oh..." (walks away).
Me: "Blah blah...I ride bikes"
Girl or someone outside the sport: "Oh, you mean like dirt bikes?"
Me: "No, mountain bikes."
Other person:"Oh..." (walks away).
Very, very common indeed.
Person: What's your passion / hobby ?
Me: I love riding my bike.
Person: Oh, so you shave your legs and wear those tight condom outfits ?
Me: Mountainbikes FTMFW, /facepalm.
I usually dont mind such common misconceptions / categories people have about bikes being associated to road cycling, i see it as a good opportunity for me to explain my love for downhill-mountainbiking.
Me: I love riding my bike.
Person: Oh, so you shave your legs and wear those tight condom outfits ?
Me: Mountainbikes FTMFW, /facepalm.
I usually dont mind such common misconceptions / categories people have about bikes being associated to road cycling, i see it as a good opportunity for me to explain my love for downhill-mountainbiking.
- You're a lycraman/hipster!
- You should have bought one of those bikes with two tiny wheels on the back and fringes hanging, instead.
- You bought a bike just because you couldn't afford a motorbike!
- You should have bought one of those bikes with two tiny wheels on the back and fringes hanging, instead.
- You bought a bike just because you couldn't afford a motorbike!
This made me smile. Our sport can be a bit ridiculous.
The age old misconceptions about downhill can be annoying, but I usually show them a couple of clips from the world cup and they watch in awe. I know once you've been doing it for a while it's easy to think "We're just a bunch of grown men riding push bikes down hills..." but people do genuinely think we're mental. I know a lot of my friends think it's awesome.
This happens daily from the summit of Whiteface in the summer. A tourists says to you while you are about the start on your dh run "That must have been quite a climb!" or "How long did it take you to get up here".
Maybe I will start asking skiers and snowboarders that are on the summit in the winter the same questions?
With 40,000 or so tourists riding the gondola many of them have never seen a dh bike, or knew about lift service biking. It is actually rather fun seeing how shocked the tourists are on what we do.
Maybe I will start asking skiers and snowboarders that are on the summit in the winter the same questions?
With 40,000 or so tourists riding the gondola many of them have never seen a dh bike, or knew about lift service biking. It is actually rather fun seeing how shocked the tourists are on what we do.
A similar thing has happened to me quite a few times.
Many of our routes consist on climbing a certain mounting and DHing all the way down. The climb must be done by push 80% of the time (most times there are no roads or even marked paths) so when we meet a group of hikers things go like this:
H- Are you going to climb to the top with THAT?
M-That's the idea.
H- It's a 2h hour walk or so!
M- I know...
H- And how much does the bike weigh?
M- Around 17-18kg.
H- What??
Most seem pretty amazed to find people with bikes there and will chat with us for a while, they will even cheer us!
Back to the thread, another insult I've heard (referred to people 30 or above doing stunts or commuting):
- Aren't you grown up enough to do that?
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pretty much what happens to me. i also always get the oh your cool line when i pass people riding to work during the summer.
When pushing my dh bike up the fire road to ride the local trails,
"you're not going to get in shape pushing that bike up the hill"
or
"you race dh, guess you don't pedal much"
and can't believe no one else said this already,
"where's the engine!?"
"you're not going to get in shape pushing that bike up the hill"
or
"you race dh, guess you don't pedal much"
and can't believe no one else said this already,
"where's the engine!?"
Him: "You spend all that money, time and energy for a 3 minute race run?"
Me: "Yeah, but you spend alot more than that on your wife for your 2 minute run."
Me: "Yeah, but you spend alot more than that on your wife for your 2 minute run."
The dirtbike comment makes me rage so hard.
I work in a shop that is attached to a mom and pop sporting goods store that does alot with fishing and hunting. Tons of hunters/fishermen come through and check out our Anthem X 29er for $2700 and say "damn I could buy a nice car for that" or "That's stupid, I could get a dirtbike for half that" of course they usually have their dumb hick kids in tow which follow with the response "Thats a downhill bike though". It's amazing how many people assume that because it has suspension, even if it's a 4" travel 29er that it's a downhill bike.
NOTE:
You're not cooler than someone else because you don't ride a road bike, don't wear lycra, and push your heavy DH bike uphill instead of pedaling it... so it's not an "insult" to be "accused" of being a roadie.
If you ride DH for the image associated with it, I'd say the joke's on you, and not on the person who mistook you for a lycra-wearing roadie.
I don't know a single image-driven DHer who can ride better than I can, and I don't even race DH.
Now THAT's an insult!
You're not cooler than someone else because you don't ride a road bike, don't wear lycra, and push your heavy DH bike uphill instead of pedaling it... so it's not an "insult" to be "accused" of being a roadie.
If you ride DH for the image associated with it, I'd say the joke's on you, and not on the person who mistook you for a lycra-wearing roadie.
I don't know a single image-driven DHer who can ride better than I can, and I don't even race DH.
Now THAT's an insult!
Well, I'm one of those that say the "a motorbike costs less" line.
No matter how you put it, I can't think of a single reason why a bike made in series by some taiwanese shop and fitted with components also made industrially should cost more (or close to) than a motorbike - which requires countless more time and efforts to design and produce.
If the frame or components are hand made, well, it can be discussed.
slowitdown, I think your comment mostly applies to me, so let me explain a couple of things.
First, I like riding in general, not just DH. I have my preferences, but I enjoy going up, down, sideways and even commuting. That's all I care for. And, in fact, the best bike I ever owned was a road one (sadly, it was stolen).
My bike is a crappy one, and I wear cheap running shirts and old sport shorts. I doubt that's caring much about fashion.
Regarding "insults", in our group we like to mock each other and that's one of the ways. If I see a friend pedaling uphill like mad in full DH gear, I might call him "roadie", and if he sees me pushing the bike he might yell back "lazy pot smoker".
If we laugh at something, is at the people who wear like pros, buy pro bikes, talk like pros, but then spend more time showing off the bike outside the bar (or matching colors bewteen components) than on the trail, where they'll walk most times.
No matter how you put it, I can't think of a single reason why a bike made in series by some taiwanese shop and fitted with components also made industrially should cost more (or close to) than a motorbike - which requires countless more time and efforts to design and produce.
If the frame or components are hand made, well, it can be discussed.
slowitdown, I think your comment mostly applies to me, so let me explain a couple of things.
First, I like riding in general, not just DH. I have my preferences, but I enjoy going up, down, sideways and even commuting. That's all I care for. And, in fact, the best bike I ever owned was a road one (sadly, it was stolen).
My bike is a crappy one, and I wear cheap running shirts and old sport shorts. I doubt that's caring much about fashion.
Regarding "insults", in our group we like to mock each other and that's one of the ways. If I see a friend pedaling uphill like mad in full DH gear, I might call him "roadie", and if he sees me pushing the bike he might yell back "lazy pot smoker".
If we laugh at something, is at the people who wear like pros, buy pro bikes, talk like pros, but then spend more time showing off the bike outside the bar (or matching colors bewteen components) than on the trail, where they'll walk most times.
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Half of the talented kids here started riding for that reason. It evolves as you progress so you don't hear it as much from fast riders.
Still it's funny as all of the dh pros train road or xc.
Well here is one that I use whenever I see a big pack of roadies in their matching team gear:
Allez Allez Allez!!!
Allez Allez Allez!!!
Some think I'm actually complimenting them so it can be a double edge sword.
The worst (around here at least) are all the Sho-Air guys. (no offense to any RM Sho -Air fiolks. Well... I take that back. Offense meant.
Sho-Air is the "team" for a local shop. The kicker though is that anyone with $75 can be on the team. Yeah, they get discounts for race fees, but that doesn't mean you have to wear the matching team outfits every dang ride!! Plus the outfits are mostly black and wearing black in the summer here in SoCal is like a death sentence.
Allez Allez Allez!!!
Allez Allez Allez!!!
Some think I'm actually complimenting them so it can be a double edge sword.
The worst (around here at least) are all the Sho-Air guys. (no offense to any RM Sho -Air fiolks. Well... I take that back. Offense meant.
Sho-Air is the "team" for a local shop. The kicker though is that anyone with $75 can be on the team. Yeah, they get discounts for race fees, but that doesn't mean you have to wear the matching team outfits every dang ride!! Plus the outfits are mostly black and wearing black in the summer here in SoCal is like a death sentence.
Lets be clear here... Just bc you ride a bike on the road does NOT mean you are a roadie.
The distinctions:
Cyclist - Has a bike with skinny tires and rides it on the road to get some sort of workout and/or to fresh air and see the sights. Or maybe a MTB rider that is getting in some cross-training.
Roadie - Has an ultralight $4000 carbon fiber bike and barely knows how to change a tire. Rides in big groups so that they can show off their Aerobic threshold and VO2-Max to all the other riders. Has to have all the bling parts, will spend hundreds of dollars on some Ti bolts, wears the "team" outfit of the bike they are on, and likes to ride in the middle of the road on steep hills, or ride 3-4 abreast taking up the bike lane and half the car lane.
When we had our shop we would get the old" $3500.00 for a bike!! I could by a motorcycle for that much!! I wild just give them ask them if they wanted directions to the motorcycle shop.
My favorite was the woman who went ballistic because we showed her kid a $199,99 Haro. She happened to be wearing a $90.00 pair of name brand Jeans.
My favorite insult was at Diablo when some 350 pound hood rat gangbanger gangster wanna be waterparker pointed and laughed at me and told me I was too fat to be riding my bike. I told him if he were white he would need to look out for captain Ahab. I then proceeded to hide out on the mountain. Yea I am fat, old too, but i can ride a whole lot faster then he could waddle along. Just didnt think I could outrun his posse!!
My favorite was the woman who went ballistic because we showed her kid a $199,99 Haro. She happened to be wearing a $90.00 pair of name brand Jeans.
My favorite insult was at Diablo when some 350 pound hood rat gangbanger gangster wanna be waterparker pointed and laughed at me and told me I was too fat to be riding my bike. I told him if he were white he would need to look out for captain Ahab. I then proceeded to hide out on the mountain. Yea I am fat, old too, but i can ride a whole lot faster then he could waddle along. Just didnt think I could outrun his posse!!
NEVER EVER,tell any girl you ride bikes.
I've had the dirt bike thing happen before to
I wouldnt worry about it. I seriously doubt they got that reference. He probably thought it was a racial thing.
sounds pretty similar to the dh scene, really.
Nice try but you just can't throw people into defined categories like that.
There are annoying people on all kinds of bikes, and there are cool people on all kinds of bikes. For just one example, some DH guys are way bigger tools than some roadies. You are bound to wrongly judge someone if you generalize.
In north jersey, if you say you ride "mountain bikes" the jokes on you, if you say you ride "bikes" you are praised for your double backflip at the X games. If you say you ride "downhill" your nutty and better be careful not to fall off a cliff.
It would surprise you how many people actually know what downhill is, especially since i dont live in whistler or anywhere with a scene.
It would surprise you how many people actually know what downhill is, especially since i dont live in whistler or anywhere with a scene.
"Hi - are you Kidwoo?"
have gotten this too.
Fighting words there.
Mine probably doesn't necessarily qualify as an "insult", but me and the crew were working on some jumps/stunts at a local spot when a guys walks by and asks "do you guys ride this stuff?"
Naw man, we just like moving 5 cubic yards of dirt for the hell of it...
http://www.pinkbike.com/video/159119/
And speaking of insults/weird occurrences. It is very common for the waterparkers at diablo to ask how much the bikes cost, since most of they are used to hearing 5k, every once and a while ill throw a change up, 350 at a garage sale-the shocked/let down faces say it all.
On that note, i ALWAYS tell the waterparkers and civilians that the bikes are worth 500 or less. IMO id rather them think that the racebikes on my truck are 10x cheaper and worse than the truck next to me. Its not the riders that steal bikes, so its not like they wont believe it.
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