If she looks anything like the older women who works near you at work i think it would be worth hearing what she did the night before.Ginger Alert: Abandon Thread
If she looks anything like the older women who works near you at work i think it would be worth hearing what she did the night before.Ginger Alert: Abandon Thread
I just tripped walking up the stairs at work. Thankfully no one was around to see it. QUOTE]
The summer before this past one, I was walking to a workshop with my boss, tripped, and almost fell, except he caught me by the elbow and dragged me back to my feet. As soon as I got back to my feet, I was so flustered I tripped AGAIN and we replayed the whole scenario all over again!!! Then we both almost fell over laughing. It was quite amusing.... at my expense. I didn't wear high heels again for almost a year.
I was a manager of the ski and bike department at Dick's clothing and Sporting goods. One day we were getting slammed with people, and I was helping out in footwear I told some lady that the reason we didn't have any shoes in her size is "our store is under stocked, I am sorry" then continued with what I thought would be a funny joke "maybe if the owner and his college buddy's (who are also execs), would stop playing golf for an afternoon and take a look at the supply deficiencies you may be able to get a pair of shoes!" she chuckled a bit, and left... 45 minutes later I got a supreme @ss reaming... apparently the lady was the VP's wife and it just so happened that her husband and the owner WERE out playing golf that afternoon, and she didn't like the fact that I made fun of it!
almost got fired
Your story rates high on the gnarcore scale. I have only had blood pool up once in my shoe (it was really a Birkenstock). Back in college, my road bike doubled as my commuter. One day, while riding to class in blue jeans and Birkenstocks, my right foot slipped off the pedal. The result? A huge chunk of skin was missing from behind my achilles tendon. I had a quiz to take in my class, so rather than wait the 45 minutes to get looked at in the health center, I grabbed some paper towels and tried to make do. The quiz was no problem, but keeping blood from staining the floor was another problem.I jammed my bloody hand into my pocket and continued the demonstration like nothing had happened. Half an hour later when it was all done my shoe was full of blood from my hand and shin bleeding down my leg.
you are gay. skip his class also.today we had to put together bird cages and i had to get up to the front of the store and i decided to skip..... do you expect more out of me? hope not.... but any who my history teacher (old time farmer... calls me gay in class for wearing pink but good teacher) sees me skipping..... sh1t i dont want to be in class tomorrow.
I have an excellent coming of age tale about accidentally stabbing myself in the stomach with a knife, while i was skinning a squirrel, and swatting at a bee with said knife in hand, but cant do the entire story justice in written word. Lets just say i lost a ton of blood into my pants, and my tighty whiteys became saturated reds. oh yeah, retractors hurt when a doctor looks into your stomach cavity and you arent knocked out. I nearly cut off my wanger too. Again this wasnt a work story but it fits in well with gore category. Brunge can hear it this weekend after a few beers.Your story rates high on the gnarcore scale. I have only had blood pool up once in my shoe (it was really a Birkenstock). Back in college, my road bike doubled as my commuter. One day, while riding to class in blue jeans and Birkenstocks, my right foot slipped off the pedal. The result? A huge chunk of skin was missing from behind my achilles tendon. I had a quiz to take in my class, so rather than wait the 45 minutes to get looked at in the health center, I grabbed some paper towels and tried to make do. The quiz was no problem, but keeping blood from staining the floor was another problem.
I really should have gotten stitches.
I swear I just.... aw chit... I am wiping tears... tears I tell you! I am laughing so hard I had tears pouring out!I have 2
i was sitting on my playmate lunch box at lunch time and somebody farted. Not to be outdone i responded with a cut of my finest. Everyone knew from the look on my face that i Crapped myself. I went commando the rest of the day, but i had blow through speed and unknowingly soaked my jeans. I guess i sat in dirt and the small particles of dirt formed an amoebic smudge mark on my jeans...about the size of a baseball.
i will forever be known as "sh!t your pants Dan" .
Same job i drove a tractor with a load of hay into a barn b/c i was trying to help out while he and his dad were trying to save the family dog (of like 18 years) b/c it had just eaten rat poison. The guys entire family was there to watch me trash the barn and the tractor while the dog layed there dying. I never felt so bad in my entire life and i didnt get paid that week.
the dog lived.....
ok three...
i also cut a huge fart on the director of a youth home while we were demonstating restraint moves for about 15 coworkers. One guy almost puked from laughter.
I don't think I'm brave enough to have typed these stories on teh monkey. Approved.I have 2
i was sitting on my playmate lunch box at lunch time and somebody farted. Not to be outdone i responded with a cut of my finest. Everyone knew from the look on my face that i Crapped myself. I went commando the rest of the day, but i had blow through speed and unknowingly soaked my jeans. I guess i sat in dirt and the small particles of dirt formed an amoebic smudge mark on my jeans...about the size of a baseball.
i will forever be known as "sh!t your pants Dan" .
Same job i drove a tractor with a load of hay into a barn b/c i was trying to help out while he and his dad were trying to save the family dog (of like 18 years) b/c it had just eaten rat poison. The guys entire family was there to watch me trash the barn and the tractor while the dog layed there dying. I never felt so bad in my entire life and i didnt get paid that week.
the dog lived.....
ok three...
i also cut a huge fart on the director of a youth home while we were demonstating restraint moves for about 15 coworkers. One guy almost puked from laughter.
fixed!I don't think I'm stupid enough to have typed these stories on teh monkey. Approved.
There's your problem.Your story rates high on the gnarcore scale. I have only had blood pool up once in my shoe (it was really a Birkenstock). Back in college, my road bike doubled as my commuter. One day, while riding to class in blue jeans and Birkenstocks, my right foot slipped off the pedal. The result? A huge chunk of skin was missing from behind my achilles tendon. I had a quiz to take in my class, so rather than wait the 45 minutes to get looked at in the health center, I grabbed some paper towels and tried to make do. The quiz was no problem, but keeping blood from staining the floor was another problem.
I really should have gotten stitches.
I think you should have taught that robot the First Law.I was demonstrating a robot to a customer.
I've done that, lost my damage deposit.I was de-icing our small workshop fridge with a hammer and screwdriver yesterday (right in front of my manager) when i managed to put a hole in the wall of the damn thing. Now we need a new fridge.
Definately the funniest I've read so far...we have a water outlet thing for putting water in fish tanks and i couldnt screw in the hose because i was screwing it the wrong way, i opened the bird cage door and let the bird out when i was feeding it took me 3 hours of running around the store like a fool to catch it.... forgot i had a python in my sweatshirt hood and i was wringing up a customer when it decided to wrap around my neck..... then theres always the times i trip on the stairs............... i guess you could say im the pet store ****up........... ohh there was one time we needed to separate the baby guinea pigs from their parents and i thought it was an empty reptile cage when infact there was a king snake in it...... there were no more guinea pigs
When I went to NYC to interview for magazine internships, I had to walk around the city all day in high heels that suddenly felt one size too big and flopped as I walked. A friend and I spent the day stuffing any napkins we could find in the toes in between interviews.When I flew out to interview for my current job I packed the wrong suit. It looked fine but I had put on 30 lbs since I bought it and it was way too small. The whole day I had to move slowly and didn't eat anything for fear of splitting the ass open on my pants. At the end of the day there was no ripping but the seam was on its last leg.
When I flew out to interview for my current job I packed the wrong suit. It looked fine but I had put on 30 lbs since I bought it and it was way too small. The whole day I had to move slowly and didn't eat anything for fear of splitting the ass open on my pants. At the end of the day there was no ripping but the seam was on its last leg.