So my 6 year old daughter just informed me she wants her ears pierced. Not that I'm against it, but I'd rather have her wait until she's at least 11 or 12. What is your take on the matter, and why?
Dilemma! Fathers with young daughters need your opinion.
- Thread starter Brian HCM#1
- Start date
Im pretty sure as her father, you're allowed to tell her what to do if she's only six.
No pierced ears for my 8 soon to be 9 year old. If she wants it when she's 13+, then it's her call. But they are a pain in the ass and at 8 she isn't ready for that.
Brian doesn't get any say in any of this.
Yo! Let your wife decide. She's gonna decide anyways.
Yo! Let your wife decide. She's gonna decide anyways.
I made mine wait til she was 10. Oh, she wanted them soooo bad from the age of 8 til 10. So her tenth b-day rolls around, we go get holes in her head, 4 months later she can't stand having earrings in and hasn't worn any since. One of the things that bugs me is parents piercing their babies ears before the baby has any say in the matter, totally uncalled for imho.
Kids have it easy these days. My parents had the tip of my dick cut off shortly after birth. Is it any wonder I'm an irritable bastard?
I'm fully aware of that, but when she looks at you all crying and stuff, sometimes it's hard to say no.
my little girl got hers pierced when she turned one. i figure they will do it eventually so why not do it on your time schedule and have it done by a professional, unlike my wife whose parents wouldnt let her do it so she did it herself and not only are the piercings not even, but she got an infection.
Caroline won't be getting any for some time to come. I can't imagine doing it as a baby. As far as I know, at 3 she hasn't even talked about it. Lip gloss on the other hand. 
Sarah got hers done when she was 5 or so. She asked and Momma was cool with it, no big deal to me either. She doesn't like not having them in now. Depends on the kid I guess.
If Caroline decides to do it on her own, I'm pretty sure the bruising will be the bad part.
to each their own i guess, but it really isnt as barbaric as you may think. they use a really tiny needle and she didnt even cry
I've been wondering what age girls get their ears pieced since I saw this picture (Shrymp's shrimp?) in the "Little Monkeys" thread. Not judging, I was just amazed that you can get it done that young:
Let's face it... it can't be any more traumatic to an infant than getting the "tip of <their> dick cut off shortly after birth" as silver so eloquently stated...
True, but do they have the benefit of making her ears look bigger?
Sheesh, how long do you wait for her first tattoo?
If she is a mature 8 year-old, she might understand this logic.
Explaining age-appropriate behavior to a kid
First ask her if she knows what the word "appropriate" means. Explain that it means something is fitting for a particular purpose, person, occasion, etc.
Ask her if she knows first or second-graders who use bad words. Ask her what she thinks of this. Does it make those kids look silly or stupid? Does it make them look cool? Or like they are trying too hard? Like they are trying to look older than they are?
Explain that they look silly because bad words shouldn't used, and especially not by kids. It's not fitting to that-age person. It's age-inappropriate.
Ask her what she would think if you were to ride a little tricycle or jump up and down when someone offered you an ice cream. You would look silly, because it's age-inappropriate behavior.
Ask her if she thinks there's anything her friends do that is age-inappropriate. Ask if those 1st or 2nd graders who curse think they look stupid, or think they look cool. Then ask how we are supposed to know when we are doing something we THINK is cool, but really is inappropriate.
I'd then tell her that sometimes we don't know that we're being (or wanting to be) inappropriate, so we really have to rely on the judgment of people who love us to help us make the right decisions. Your job as her dad is to help her learn to make good decisions.
Although there are little girls out there pierce their ears when they are young, there's a recognition that piercing your ears means that you are no longer a little girl, but are becoming a young lady. And just like the cookies in the oven that take a full 12 minutes to bake, that you can't rush no matter how much you want the time to pass faster, kids can't rush their growing up years. Those 12 minutes are all important to the perfect baking of the cookie. And her 12 years are all important and all necessary to turning her into a perfect young lady.
I would then tell her that 8 is such a wonderful age, because you can still enjoy silly things, like making up your dad's face with makeup (or whatever would totally blow her away). You could give her a treat as a bonding moment thing. Be careful not to reward the "right" decision, just because some kids understand that as "dad loves me as long as I do what he wants, but doesn't love me if I don't"
If she will have none of it, perhaps you can tell her that you are willing to meet her half-way. You'll give up two years if she will, and she can have it done when she's ten and graduates from elementary school.
If you are willing, after letting her know your feelings, you could let her make the decision. Tell her you hope she will wait, that it is more age-appropriate to wait, and shows her maturity to wait. Remind her that she doesn't have to do things on anyone else's timeline (if her little friends are all doing this now). This can be a great teaching moment, helping her make wise decisions about --brace yourself -- friends, sex, drugs, teen-age stupidity, etc, in the future.
The sooner she starts making decisions (and even making mistakes), the better prepared she will be to make good decisions when she's a teen-ager and you are no longer around all the time.
Good luck.
Explaining age-appropriate behavior to a kid
First ask her if she knows what the word "appropriate" means. Explain that it means something is fitting for a particular purpose, person, occasion, etc.
Ask her if she knows first or second-graders who use bad words. Ask her what she thinks of this. Does it make those kids look silly or stupid? Does it make them look cool? Or like they are trying too hard? Like they are trying to look older than they are?
Explain that they look silly because bad words shouldn't used, and especially not by kids. It's not fitting to that-age person. It's age-inappropriate.
Ask her what she would think if you were to ride a little tricycle or jump up and down when someone offered you an ice cream. You would look silly, because it's age-inappropriate behavior.
Ask her if she thinks there's anything her friends do that is age-inappropriate. Ask if those 1st or 2nd graders who curse think they look stupid, or think they look cool. Then ask how we are supposed to know when we are doing something we THINK is cool, but really is inappropriate.
I'd then tell her that sometimes we don't know that we're being (or wanting to be) inappropriate, so we really have to rely on the judgment of people who love us to help us make the right decisions. Your job as her dad is to help her learn to make good decisions.
Although there are little girls out there pierce their ears when they are young, there's a recognition that piercing your ears means that you are no longer a little girl, but are becoming a young lady. And just like the cookies in the oven that take a full 12 minutes to bake, that you can't rush no matter how much you want the time to pass faster, kids can't rush their growing up years. Those 12 minutes are all important to the perfect baking of the cookie. And her 12 years are all important and all necessary to turning her into a perfect young lady.
I would then tell her that 8 is such a wonderful age, because you can still enjoy silly things, like making up your dad's face with makeup (or whatever would totally blow her away). You could give her a treat as a bonding moment thing. Be careful not to reward the "right" decision, just because some kids understand that as "dad loves me as long as I do what he wants, but doesn't love me if I don't"
If she will have none of it, perhaps you can tell her that you are willing to meet her half-way. You'll give up two years if she will, and she can have it done when she's ten and graduates from elementary school.
If you are willing, after letting her know your feelings, you could let her make the decision. Tell her you hope she will wait, that it is more age-appropriate to wait, and shows her maturity to wait. Remind her that she doesn't have to do things on anyone else's timeline (if her little friends are all doing this now). This can be a great teaching moment, helping her make wise decisions about --brace yourself -- friends, sex, drugs, teen-age stupidity, etc, in the future.
The sooner she starts making decisions (and even making mistakes), the better prepared she will be to make good decisions when she's a teen-ager and you are no longer around all the time.
Good luck.
Set these on her bedside table or on the coffee table. Explain the next time she asks about getting her ears done you're going to smash her across the face with one. It should do the job and buy you a couple years of silence.
My 3yr. old has her ears pierced. She got them done at the same time (double piercing) and it really doesn't hurt at all...it's more the shock of hearing the "gun" than any real pain. And yes, I have had my ears pierced several times. She didn't even cry--barely flinched, unlike the 10 year old boy that got his ear pierced right before her...he cried, nearly screamed and got all worked up about it
Syd's been on a lip gloss bandwagon as well...where do they get these things from?Caroline won't be getting any for some time to come. I can't imagine doing it as a baby. As far as I know, at 3 she hasn't even talked about it. Lip gloss on the other hand.
Caroline gets it from her whacky mother.
Please tell me Syd minds better than Caroline. I wonder what Earl thinks.
*note - Julie is just a little crazy, so I'm not really sure that's where it comes from.
Ah, yes, my mistake. I got into my head she was eight. Don't worry Burly, probably too many big words for you anyway.
I didn't read the rest of the post.
She hasn't asked for clear heels, has she?<snip> Lip gloss on the other hand.
As the father to a 19 month old girl, let me be the first father here to say "fvck you azzhole"This thread will a quaint memory when she comes home with 'Place Beer Here' tattoo'd across her lower back.
*father of 2 boys
I can't honestly say it had even occurred to me until I saw this thread. Frankly, just becasue of Dan-o, (i keed, i keed) shes gonna get locked in the crawl space till shes 18 then she can get a job and do whatever the hell she wants.
Ahhhhhhhhhhahahaha.As the father to a 19 month old girl, let me be the first father here to say "fvck you azzhole"
I can't honestly say it had even occurred to me until I saw this thread. Frankly, just becasue of Dan-o, (i keed, i keed) shes gonna get locked in the crawl space till shes 18 then she can get a job and do whatever the hell she wants.
I don't envy you fathers of little girls...
*father of 3 boys
Your son could get that same tattoo.
Who wears the pants in this relationship? You gotta show her who is boss!
I say 6 is probably too young. If she still wants them pierced by the time she is 8 then you should let her.
I say 6 is probably too young. If she still wants them pierced by the time she is 8 then you should let her.
LOL! Syd has her stubborn moments (she gets those from me for sure) and her "I'm too focused to notice that the world around me is crumbling into ???" moments (she gets those from Sq-Earl) but as a whole she does mind pretty well. We definitely give her lots of space though and choices (always one sided but she hasn't figured that out yet).Caroline gets it from her whacky mother.
I wonder what Earl thinks.
*note - Julie is just a little crazy, so I'm not really sure that's where it comes from.
We waited till my Daughter was 10 to have her ears Pierced. and Not because i was against it. I wanted her to really want it and Make it some thing special for her.
she started asking when she was about 7 , and My wife was sure sure ( my Wife talked about having it done when she was born.) , I was no , lets wait , I want it to mean something to her. so for her 10th Birthday She got her Ears Pierced. and it really ment something to her. she had the first ear done , and a Little tear came down her eye and the girl doing it saw that and told her she could wait for the 2nd ear , but No , she wanted it , so she had Both of them done. she was so Proud of them and has taken excellenct care of her ears since then. I am glad we waited.
she started asking when she was about 7 , and My wife was sure sure ( my Wife talked about having it done when she was born.) , I was no , lets wait , I want it to mean something to her. so for her 10th Birthday She got her Ears Pierced. and it really ment something to her. she had the first ear done , and a Little tear came down her eye and the girl doing it saw that and told her she could wait for the 2nd ear , but No , she wanted it , so she had Both of them done. she was so Proud of them and has taken excellenct care of her ears since then. I am glad we waited.
If I have a son, when should I allow him to get a Prince Albert?
wife and I agree, no ears pierced until 13.
I will NEVER understand little kids with ear piercings....As someone said earlier: they should be cute enough without jewelry....
I will NEVER understand little kids with ear piercings....As someone said earlier: they should be cute enough without jewelry....