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Tom Boonen arrested!

Wumpus

makes avatars better
Dec 25, 2003
8,161
153
Six Shooter Junction
Old habits die hard for Omega-Pharma-Quickstep superstar Tom Boonen, who totaled team owner Zdenek Bakala’s Ferrari Enzo during a joyride following a post-Flanders victory party, according to Belgian authorities. Flemish police reported that Boonen and an unnamed female occupant were unharmed in the incident.

Initial police reports indicate that Bakala gave Boonen the keys to the vehicle after a “riotous” dinner party with several local celebrities, and Boonen proceeded to drive the vehicle at high speeds in the area of Oudenaarde before taking the Enzo onto the grounds of Park Baron Casier in Waregem. According to Boonen’s statement to authorities, he was doing “Enzo Endos” on the grounds of the public park.

The vehicle was found upside down near the castle on the grounds of Baron Casier Park, with Boonen stripped to the waist standing on top of the overturned super car, twirling his shirt over his head, singing loudly to the LMFAO song “I’m Sexy and I Know It.” According to anonymous bystanders, the female companion was clad only in “her knickers.”

The grounds of the park sustained significant damage due to the high-speed racing by Boonen in the Ferrari. One of the gates, at Market Street, sustained significant damage where Boonen crashed Bakala’s car through, and the vehicle itself was described by sources as “an utterly complete farcical write off.”

Several fountains sustained damage, and the castle itself underwent what could only be described as “tagging.” Boonen’s camp is denying any involvement with the fountain damage, nor the graffitti on the castle, and has not issued any formal statements in relation to the escapades.

Belgian authorities are refusing to confirm if drugs or alcohol were factors in the events leading to the defacing of a local cultural icon, but eye-witness accounts commented on the size of Tom’s “Booner,” which might indicate use of certain products of a sexual enhancement nature.

Boonen himself refused to issue any statements to the media in relation to the unfortunate event, however Bakala was quick to come to the defense of Boonen.

“Hey, it’s only a car. I’ve got another 40 in various houses around the world. I’m sure the check I write to the town of Waregem will make this all go away. I look forward to Tommeke winning in Roubaix next week,” smiled a rather soused Bakala.

It is unknown at this time whether Boonen will be charged with any crimes.
 

Silver

find me a tampon
Jul 20, 2002
10,840
1
Orange County, CA
I knew this was a fake story right away. Tom Boonen in real life is the guy in the clown makeup:


You mix that into the story, and it's pretty plausible though...
 

RUFUS

e-douche of the year
Dec 1, 2006
3,480
1
Denver, CO
What is more impressive is that he won Flanders last weekend and just won Paris-Roubaix this morning. He is a beast!!!