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Ft. Bill - World Downhill Enduro Race

jackalope

jackalope

Mental acuity - 1%
Jan 9, 2004
7,614
5,936
in a single wide, cooking meth...
Since another weekend of Scottish downhill rallying is nigh upon us, I figured I'd kick things off with a few erudite observations:

* No intermittent rain in the forecast all week...namely because it seems like it's going to rain constantly, just at various intensities. But seriously, no wonder they invented scotch there.

* Stevie Smith will be back. My guess is he will win if his poorly formed sketch-stache remains itact, otherwise I think he'll use this as an "easing back into it" exercise and finish on the podium.

* Assuming Ed Master's fvck truck is mechanically able, he will be there. My guess is if his well formed sketch-facial hair is intact, he will finish in the top 15, otherwise he will crash with glory and bag a couple birds in said fvck truck.

* Danny Hart will be there. My guess is he will be in the top 3 if his poorly formed sketch-facial hair remains intact, otherwise he will he essentially refuse to pedal and just throw massive moto-whips on the lower jumps before mumbling something incoherent to Rob Warner.

* Rock Jeebus will be there. My guess is he will be 2nd if he races on the 29er/650 hybrid enduroer, otherwise if he races the new carbon 650 Demo, it will crash and disintegrate on one of the car sized boulders up top. Not even geological divinity can overcome the curse of the Demo.

* Gee will be on the podium, but not smile once during the whole weekend.

* 23 outta the top 30 qualifiers will be UK riders.

* Rach will win, but Manon will be relatively close behind.

* It will be wet...
 
kickstand

kickstand

Turbo Monkey
Sep 18, 2009
3,441
392
Fenton, MI
* Danny Hart will be there. My guess is he will be in the top 3 if his poorly formed sketch-facial hair remains intact, otherwise he will he essentially refuse to pedal and just throw massive moto-whips on the lower jumps before mumbling something incoherent to Rob Warner.
Click to expand...
hahahahahahaha this brought a smile to me on this cloudy gloomy wednesday of bad days.
 
atrokz

atrokz

Turbo Monkey
Mar 14, 2002
1,552
77
teedotohdot
Rain:

Sam Hill (yes, I know it's entirely possible. He's getting back up to his speed)
Niko
Hart
Gwin
Gee

No Rain:
Gwin
Gee
Hill
Brosnan
Hart


Women:
Atherton
-another girl
-another girl
 
Gary

Gary

"S" is for "neo-luddite"
Aug 27, 2002
7,674
5,601
UK
wysiwyg said:
Yeah like when are we gonna realise its aluminum and sulfur..
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ha ha.. Who cares who wins Ft Bill? Winning spelling on the internet is so much more prestigious ;)

As it happens, Aluminium was so named by an English man who couldn't actually make up his mind whether to use the "i" or not.. Sulphur/Sulfur is derived from latin so both spellings are more or less as wrong/correct as each other.. any Romans in here wanna lay claim to the WIN? my keyboard doesn't have latin symbols
TIRE is the only 'mercan spelling I have ever had a problem getting my head around but that's only because the pneumatic TYRE was so named by the Scotsman who invented it making any other spelling for me just plain retarded.

Anyway.. Here's a video of Claudio not being able to pronounce his own teams name while riding Ft Bill blind in a respectable WC quali time..

http://www.vitalmtb.com/videos/member/Course-Preview-Claudio-Caluori-Tames-Fort-William,26020/iceman2058,94
 
jackalope

jackalope

Mental acuity - 1%
Jan 9, 2004
7,614
5,936
in a single wide, cooking meth...
How I would like the podium to look:

1. Steve Peat, who will win with Ed Masters perched upon his shoulders, arms crossed and wearing a Pith hat.

2. Stevie Smith (or Bruce Campbell), riding the whole course with one hand on the bar, and one hand wielding a chainsaw

3. Ratty, dressed like Sonny Crockett

4. Danny Hart, who will interview Bryce afterwards, and no one will have any idea what was said (including them)

5. Ben Reid, who will ride 95% of course in some form of semi-uncontrolled drift


How I think the podium will look:

1. Minnaar
2. Gwin
3. Gee
4. Smith
5. Bryce
 
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Fool

Fool

The Thing cannot be described
Sep 10, 2001
2,782
1,495
Brooklyn
jackalope said:
How I would like the podium to look:

1. Steve Peat, who will win with Ed Masters perched upon his shoulders, arms crossed and wearing a Pith hat.

2. Stevie Smith (or Bruce Campbell), riding the whole course with one hand on the bar, and one hand wielding a chainsaw

3. Ratty, dressed like Sonny Crockett

4. Danny Hart, who will interview Bryce afterwards, and no one will have any idea what was said (including them)

5. Ben Reid, who will ride 95% of course in some form of semi-uncontrolled drift
Click to expand...
I didn't know this is the podium I wanted until I read this.
 
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