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Dumbest thing you've done at work

TheTruth

Turbo Monkey
Jun 15, 2009
3,893
1
I'm waving. Can you see me now?
Pretty much. I've had the head of our local news bureau approach me about being "too abrasive" before.

Someone in news nuked fish for lunch and stank up our whole office the day of a major client event, and I got pissed so stood up and started yelling 'who the f* is eating fish? who the f is stinking up this office 30min before a major client event? Which one of you is so f*ing socially obtuse that you are willing to stink up the f*ing office on a day when clients are in here..." for about five min.
Never found the person, but nobody has cooked fish since then. Hr file, but my boss brushed it off.

And yes, I have anger mgmt issues.
Socially obtuse is great
 

spocomptonrider

sportin' the CROCS
Nov 30, 2007
1,412
118
spokanistan
for whatever reason i was under the impression that the shop air compressor topped out at like 40ish psi, so one day i was changing a flat and just kept it hooked up until the pump stopped. about 30 seconds later i bent down to pick up some trash a couple feet away from the wheel and KABOOM!!! turns out it goes to about 80 psi... the shop was fairly crowded with customer's at the time, so everyone was pissed off at me for a while.
Done that before, except it was a road bike tire and for whatever reason I wasn't exactly careful when I put the new tube and tire on the crappy steel rim, the poopy rubber rim strip slipped out of place so when I got the tube to about 60psi it decided to kasplode. It was way loud considering it was just a road tube.

Honestly though in my younger stupider days I smoked a joint with a coworker and immediately went back to work (reeking like smokis I might add), surprisingly no one said anything. A week later that dude got fired when he got caught blazing it up out front, then came the random wizz tests... Needless to say that was pretty much the end o the road for me.
 

lovebunny

can i lick your balls?
Dec 14, 2003
7,310
209
San Diego, California, United States
Done that before, except it was a road bike tire and for whatever reason I wasn't exactly careful when I put the new tube and tire on the crappy steel rim, the poopy rubber rim strip slipped out of place so when I got the tube to about 60psi it decided to kasplode. It was way loud considering it was just a road tube.
.
just a road tube? those are the worst! i had the sidewall on a rim burst once after they changed the tube. snapping rim and tube exploding at 120 psi is not a good sound for sure
 

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
I was clerking in a law office during law school.
One of the clients would not get out of my face over the phone, claiming the attorney was taking too long, etc and so forth, on his spousal battery case.

"Listen OJ, I have better things to do than to sit here and chase your ex wife around for you. Call me back after you kill her..."

And I don't work there anymore.
 

Capricorn

Monkey
Jan 9, 2010
425
0
Cape Town, ZA
One of my students is a 14 year old junior high school girl. She loves Avril Lavigne and we were googling pictures of her. Suffice is to say that google safe search could be safer. Quick VB hit the back button..........is that a donkey? Jesus.......
yeah, thank goodness for safe searching avril lavigne.
 

Austin Bike

Turbo Monkey
Jan 26, 2003
1,558
0
Duh, Austin
I had some bonewipe make a comment about me in an email. Someone on her team mistakenly forwarded it to me (her comment was about 3 comments back in the thread.)

Apparently she discovered this (her boss probably told her) and she tried to recall the email. The beauty of a blackberry is that you can get around that. I forwarded the orignial message to myself so I could open it and see why it was being recalled.

Once I read it I shot it back to the original woman with a "we should really talk about this" comment.

She was pissed.

So the tip for the day is anytime someone recalls a message, there is a good opportunity for some fun if you can get to it before the system does.
 

splat

Nam I am
Lets see back when i was a Co-op at MIT

-- Water Pistol Fights with Liquid Nitrogen

-- Cleaning Circuit Boards with Freon in a squirt bottle ( OK so there is a Hole in the ozone there now )

-- removing a safety shield on a 250 Amp , 3 phase 480 Volt transformer cover and shorting it out while doing it.

-- watching another engineer drop the safety bars on a charged 1 Farad @ 40KV capacitor bank, they were behind the blast wall, I wasn't !

-- Using an electron Gun to cook Hot dogs .

-- and dropping a 400 pound transformer into a dumpster from the roof of the building ( 4 stories up ) We hit , what a crash it made :)


dam that was some serious fun working there ! too bad I graduated college and had to get a real job
 

Jim Mac

MAKE ENDURO GREAT AGAIN
May 21, 2004
6,352
282
the middle east of NY
I pompously and publicly made fun of someone's anonymous gift (hand made shadow box winter scene) in a "Dirty Santa" x mas party gift exchange - it was one of the employees whom I supervise, and she was sitting next to me...:banghead:
 

hooples3

Fuggetaboutit!
Mar 14, 2005
5,245
0
Brooklyn
painted the face of a coworker like a clown, when they were fast asleep.. who knew the boss was going to call him to his office a half hour later ????
 

eaterofdog

ass grabber
Sep 8, 2006
8,333
1,576
Central Florida
Someone in news nuked fish for lunch and stank up our whole office the day of a major client event,
News people (newpaper and TV) are the nastiest creatures on the planet. We had a gorgeous TV reporter do the exact same thing with a box of crab legs. The fridge in that department was horrible, it smelled like a used coffin.
 

Prettym1k3

Turbo Monkey
Aug 21, 2006
2,864
0
In your pants
First job ever was at a pet supply store. We sold 50 pound salt licks for cattle, deer, etc.

Step 1: Stand on forks of forklift with 50 pound salt lick.
Step 2: Lift forks on forklift as high as they will go.
Step 3: Push said salt lick off of forks and let it fall to the ground.

We also used to do burn outs with the forklift, and we used to light non-dairy creamer on fire. Oh, and we used to use out 50,000 volt cattle prod on mice...

...but if you hit them a second time with it, they'd come back to life.

My co-workers used to take bats and golf clubs to the dead mice. I never had the ability to do that. Felt to bad for them.

When I did property management, on a video conference, I'd always forget if the flashing light meant that the audio was on or off. My co-worker asks me, "What's going on with the conference today?" My reply: "The same old crap and garbage that we don't push on our clients because they don't care."...

...next thing I hear is, "San Jose office... I think that your mic is on." *Oops*

At this job? Nothing. I love this job.
 

Dog Welder

Turbo Monkey
Sep 7, 2001
1,123
0
Pasadena, CA
Some of the stupidest s#it goes down in a firehouse where you have a group of Type A highly opinionated grown ass men who on occasion act like a bunch of kindergardeners.

I preface this by saying that in my short career I've been lucky to have not been guilty of any of the things I am about to say. These are just stories I've heard.

Many years ago when the package for Morphine and Epinephrine were VERY similar looking, a paramedic gave Epi (what lay people call adrenaline) to a ischemic chest pain patient instead of morphine. That's like giving an overheating redlined engine a shot of nitrous....bad things tend to happen.

During Bush's second term a coworker (Democrat) stated off the cuff that someone ought to shoot him. Another coworker (Republican) took offence and called the Secret Service saying this this one guy had made terrorist threats against the President. A few days later someone rings the doorbell to the fire station. I open the door and these two dudes in suits claiming to be the Secret Service want to talk to the engineer who made these comments. I thought it was a great practical joke, slammed the door on these guys. 10 minutes later we get a call from the FIRE CHIEF himself telling us its the real Secret Service.

The same Republican engineer in the previous story, works a trade at a different fire station. The next day crew comes on and finds that one of two brand new Kirkland brand olive oil bottles is missing. They call the station of the engineer (notice a pattern?) who worked the previous day. The home station of said engineer says yes there is a brand new bottle of olive oil whose serial numbers matchs its twin at the other station. The engineer gets called out for stealing from the other guys pantry, which he denies...until that station threatens to file a police report. Guy finally comes clean in a non apologetic way and whose name is forever mud in the department.

Murder victim with gun shot wound to the head. A medic hooked the patient up and found Asystole (flat line to the hollywood types) on two leads. Hour later, that engine company got a call from the Coroner's office saying that the body they pronounced was still alive and breathing.

Actually this story happened to me. My medic partner and I are the only two Asian medics on the department. This incident became known as the PERFECT STORM. Two asians, driving a Freightliner medic rig, coming from a camera store, get distracted by a hot chick waving at them.....rear end a stopped car.
 

Pesqueeb

bicycle in airplane hangar
Feb 2, 2007
40,336
16,807
Riding the baggage carousel.
The same Republican engineer in the previous story, works a trade at a different fire station. The next day crew comes on and finds that one of two brand new Kirkland brand olive oil bottles is missing. They call the station of the engineer (notice a pattern?) who worked the previous day. The home station of said engineer says yes there is a brand new bottle of olive oil whose serial numbers matchs its twin at the other station. The engineer gets called out for stealing from the other guys pantry, which he denies...until that station threatens to file a police report. Guy finally comes clean in a non apologetic way and whose name is forever mud in the department.
You guys record serial numbers of your food items? Jeebus, I thought fridge theft was bad were I work but nobodys taken to noting the serial numbers of thier yogurt.
 

sanjuro

Tube Smuggler
Sep 13, 2004
17,373
0
SF
Pretty much. I've had the head of our local news bureau approach me about being "too abrasive" before.

Someone in news nuked fish for lunch and stank up our whole office the day of a major client event, and I got pissed so stood up and started yelling 'who the f* is eating fish? who the f is stinking up this office 30min before a major client event? Which one of you is so f*ing socially obtuse that you are willing to stink up the f*ing office on a day when clients are in here..." for about five min.
Never found the person, but nobody has cooked fish since then. Hr file, but my boss brushed it off.

And yes, I have anger mgmt issues.
I do think it is a Cali thing. If you worked in NYC, well, ever see Boiler Room (and I know you have).
 

Dirtjumper999

Turbo Monkey
Feb 13, 2005
1,556
0
Charlotte, NC
Lots of special orders coming in around Christmas, everything from comfort bikes to 8k road bikes. Typically when we build a special order we call the customer and tell them that their bike is ready to be picked up. Customers usually leave notes with the order saying don't call them at home or only speak to the buyer so the present is kept a surprise, and this one said the same thing, but it was written by one of the sales guys that said "ask for David S." it just so happened that the customers last name started with S... little did I know my coworker meant Senior. (dummy didn't put the r.) So I call up and say "Hi may I speak with David?" the guy who answers replies, "this is he". So I say "well sir this is BikeSource calling to inform you that your brand new Specialized Stumpjumper FSR Carbon is in and ready for you to come pick up." There is a good 5 second pause, and he says "oh my god, he didn't." Then I hear some him yell "you got me the Stumpjumper!" Followed by someone else saying "son of a.. I told them to ask for me, David Sr. then gets on the phone and says "hello?!" Quickly realize what just happened, I put him on hold and went to my boss and said... my bad on line 4045..
 

Serial Midget

Al Bundy
Jun 25, 2002
13,053
1,896
Fort of Rio Grande
You are definitely "that guy". :D

Pretty much. I've had the head of our local news bureau approach me about being "too abrasive" before.

Someone in news nuked fish for lunch and stank up our whole office the day of a major client event, and I got pissed so stood up and started yelling 'who the f* is eating fish? who the f is stinking up this office 30min before a major client event? Which one of you is so f*ing socially obtuse that you are willing to stink up the f*ing office on a day when clients are in here..." for about five min.
Never found the person, but nobody has cooked fish since then. Hr file, but my boss brushed it off.

And yes, I have anger mgmt issues.
 

HardtailHack

used an iron once
Jan 20, 2009
6,760
5,666
Hmmmm, cleaning a bike frame with the diesel pressure washer set to 110Deg C and max soap, lance in one hand bike fame in other and needless to say I got my hand, it hurt a bit the the foam turned red hahaha!

Made an air gun to shoot pop rivets as we had a bird problem and a boredom problem, decided to see if I could hit a fluro tube that was sticking out of a garbage bin when our mentally not all there work placement kid walked past, luckily I missed the tube and the kid by a few inches.

Got drunk at a work party and told a guy he looked like and elf and told home to go home and get his weapons(allegedly).
 
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jonKranked

Detective Dookie
Nov 10, 2005
86,008
24,557
media blackout
when i was a mechanic i was tossing some guys drivetrain into the part washer... the washing fluid splashed into my eye and burned like a mofo. my boss couldn't stop laughing at me the rest of the day
 

Da Peach

Outwitted by a rodent
Jul 2, 2002
13,683
4,912
North Van
went to Senegal only to hand giant portions of my salary (out of pure, stupid, honesty) to the Canadian government.

Fraud would have been so much cheaper.
 

Pesqueeb

bicycle in airplane hangar
Feb 2, 2007
40,336
16,807
Riding the baggage carousel.
when i was a mechanic i was tossing some guys drivetrain into the part washer... the washing fluid splashed into my eye and burned like a mofo. my boss couldn't stop laughing at me the rest of the day
The day three of us at work turned a #2 hydraulic system into a 3000psi, Skydrol shower head, I would have gladly taken a bath in the parts washer if it would get the Skydrol off.
 

jonKranked

Detective Dookie
Nov 10, 2005
86,008
24,557
media blackout
The day three of us at work turned a #2 hydraulic system into a 3000psi, Skydrol shower head, I would have gladly taken a bath in the parts washer if it would get the Skydrol off.
let the record show that it required 3 individuals to achieve this level of stupid
 
...
Made an air gun to shoot pop rivets as we had a bird problem and a boredom problem, decided to see if I could hit a fluro tube that was sticking out of a garbage bin when our mentally not all there work placement kid walked past, luckily I missed the tube and the kid by a few inches...
Conduit, drill bit, card stock for tail cone, air line, shot holes in file cabinet.
 

canadmos

Cake Tease
May 29, 2011
20,536
19,554
Canaderp
This isn't something that I did at work, but I did witness it.

We were getting a delivery of (liquid?) nitrogen, the only problem was that they sent the tank on a truck with a crane. All of the loading docks at this building are elevated, none are at ground level.

I told them it couldn't be done as it wasn't safe to do any other way. The lead scientist in the lab who placed the order, as well as my supervisor AND the truck driver all thought it was a smart idea to try to squeeze the tank into one of the docks with the crane.

Of course, said crane would not fit into the bay door. So, the crane operator ended up letting the tank and platform hang outside of the dock while my supervisor drove his forklift to the edge of the same dock and "caught" it with the forks...all while being inches from sliding off the dock plate and having the tank swinging in the breeze.

I don't know what the pressure was inside of the tank, but if you've ever heard them vent, it isn't a pleasant sound. It would be been a bad day if the fork lift punctured the tank or if the fork lift slipped off the edge of the dock.

Needless to say, some people got fired over this.


Here is a picture that I took, before they brought the forklift over. I went and hid in another room.
 
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