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Home Invasions/Robberies

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by skibunny24, Nov 27, 2012.

  1. blackohio

    blackohio Generous jaywalker

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    Midgets running around backwards with those face mounted dildos. Everyonce in a while they stop. Jump up and shout some arbitrary word then go back to running backwards.

    Should keep anyone but me and dirty out.
     
  2. DirtMcGirk

    DirtMcGirk <b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm

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    Yes sir.
     
  3. Pesqueeb

    Pesqueeb bicycle in airplane hangar

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    #43 -   Nov 28, 2012
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2012
  4. stevew

    stevew unique white person

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    build this....



    dig moat.
     
  5. rockofullr

    rockofullr confused

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  6. JohnE

    JohnE filthy rascist

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    Anti personnel mines sewn in the lawn and on the trail. Clear the trees and brush between you and the trail, set up interlocking fields of fire, post limiting stakes in obvious locations and range in your weapons to same. Sew the bottom of the fenceline in dog pooh...

    But seriously...dont leave anything out that is indicative of what you have inside...be aware of strangers in the neighborhood, dont hesistate to snap pictures of them. Do a security check before bed. And get a doggie door.
     
  7. boogenman

    boogenman Turbo Monkey

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    Quit your job and stay home
     
  8. rockofullr

    rockofullr confused

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    I found a schematic that might give you some good ideas.

     
  9. boogenman

    boogenman Turbo Monkey

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  10. jimmydean

    jimmydean The Official Meat of Ridemonkey

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    There is a "good" part of Renton?

    Loud dogs do a lot. A friend of mine had the neighbors on both sides of her broken into, her house was never mesed with. She has a large Shepard mix that is very vocal.

    As a potential thief:
    House with large sounding dog (or 2)?
    House with a cat?

    Unless there is something they KNOW is worth going after in the house with a dog, the house without will get hit twice before the house with dog does. Unless they know the dog.
     
  11. BUFFALO

    BUFFALO Vigorous Giver of Reputation

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    There are some good tips in here and things we will get done for sure. So thanks for that! And thanks for the entertainment too!
    If we could move now, it would definitely be into one of those concrete fortress homes!
    It's actually pretty scary to think about all of it happening right around us....
     
  12. jimmydean

    jimmydean The Official Meat of Ridemonkey

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    SE Portland has gotten pretty sketchy over the last 10 years (where my friend lives). A dog is a better option than a gun, but short of a fortress house, visibility of entry points (no place to hide), a large deterrent like a large and vocal dog and real (or fake) security signs, and neighbors who care enough to watch each others back are the best you can do.

    Best of luck, though. My hood in Medford was meth central.
     
  13. CBJ

    CBJ Turbo Monkey

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    Isn't there a South Park episode that can help too?
     
  14. Sandwich

    Sandwich just shake your rump

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    http://www.reddit.com/r/Frugal/comments/12yxfw/frugal_ive_been_broken_into_twice_ideas_for/c6zdckv

    Unfortunately, OP deleted his comments, but basically he said that if burglars want to get into your house, they will. They'll usually come during the day, or when nobody is home. They aren't deterred by commercial alarm systems because they know how long it takes to respond to the alarm, and that most stations are too busy to deal with an alarm that is 95% of the time false. He said that video cameras don't do ****.

    He did say that the best theft deterrents were OBVIOUS cameras, good lighting, and loud-ass alarms that might alert neighbors. So, set your doors and/or windows up to blast when they're opened, and somebody might pay attention. Cameras that are too big to be ignored may also prevent people from bothering, but hidden ones will just mean that you get to watch people steal your **** when you get home.

    It's too bad he deleted it, it was pretty good advice.
     
  15. Sandwich

    Sandwich just shake your rump

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    Found it:
    I am a police officer. I have been present at many hundreds of residential and commercial burglaries. I can speak from experience. The statement that

    Cameras won't do anything

    Is so unbelievably wrong it's laughable.

    First, a word about physical security: If someone wants to get into your house, they are going to get into your house. Period. If they want your stuff, they're going to get it. I have seen every single type of security system defeated. Burglars are good at it. This is what they think about every day. There are numerous ways to defeat physical barriers to entry. We have a saying, and that is "Locks only keep honest people out."

    And now a word about alarms: 95% useless, in my opinion. A generic burglar alarm is a "cry wolf" machine. They go off all the time for no reason, to the point that 97% of the alarms we respond to are false. Therefore they get dropped to the lowest priority in terms of calls we respond to. In other words, if your burglar alarm goes off, we'll get there....eventually. Some people have more expensive "panic alarms" that can be activated by the homeowner, and their activation is supposed to signal that there is imminent danger. Those things we respond to with lights and sirens. And they're mostly accidental. The reason a panic alarm is mostly useless is because burglars, generally speaking, do not strike in the middle of the night when you're sleeping. They strike in the daytime, when you're not home and most of your neighbors aren't, either. The only type of alarm system I WOULD reccommend is not one that's connected to an alarm company, but a loud audible one that makes a lot of noise. Most burglars aren't going to stick around with that kind of noise being made.

    Now on to cameras. Here is how you make a camera a deterrent. You make it obvious. You set them up around the perimeter of your home, and you make it obvious that they're there. Maybe even post signs that say "Smile, you're on camera and it's being recorded remotely. Your picture has been saved forever." Again, it's not a guarantee that the person won't break in, but if they do, you have their image preserved.

    I generally do not see a lot of burglaries of homes that have obvious camera systems installed. To me, as someone who sees an average of 7-10 burglary scenes a week, a camera system is your best bet in terms of deterrence.

    As to which ones to get, I reccommend this one:

    http://www.costco.com/.product.1000...ageVerticalRight|CategorySiloedViewCP#reviews

    A bit pricey, but it has the best reviews.
     
  16. offsprung

    offsprung Monkey

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    I don't think they exist...
     
  17. Jm_

    Jm_ Turbo Monkey

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    Insurance and cameras.
     
  18. DirtMcGirk

    DirtMcGirk <b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm

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    "Excuse me, is that an Uzi?"
    "You know, that would make a great TV commercial? 'Excuse me, is that an Uzi?' 'Why, yes it is. Hey, self-defense is no laughing matter! That why when I want number one I pack an Uzi... accept no substitutes.'
     
  19. DirtyMike

    DirtyMike Turbo Fluffer

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    You had me at midgets with face mounted dildos
     
  20. Hacktastic

    Hacktastic Turbo Monkey

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    Aside from Til Lindemann answering the door with a flame-throwing dildo attached to his face, I suggest this:

    A loud and young German Shepherd or Dobie with a large sign on the front and back door which reads:

    "The lock on this door is not here to protect me. It is here to protect you. :)"
     
  21. blackohio

    blackohio Generous jaywalker

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    best party accessory and as well as crime deterrent. Tell me anyone would even try to break into your house if in the backyard were 7-10 midgets in unitards with face mounted dildos.
     
  22. jimmydean

    jimmydean The Official Meat of Ridemonkey

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    I would be a lot more worried about the person who would enter rather than who wouldn't.
     
  23. jdcamb

    jdcamb Tool Time!

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    Rent them like guard dogs. I smell $$
     
  24. Da Peach

    Da Peach Outwitted by a rodent

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    Back in Van. Thank fack...
    New Yorks hottest club has them.
     
  25. thad

    thad Monkey

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    Katana is the obvious choice
     
  26. AngryMetalsmith

    AngryMetalsmith Business is good, thanks for asking

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    ^^ What's a "bugluh" ?
     
  27. norbar

    norbar Turbo Monkey

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    Build a coconut crab army!