1000-Oaks
09-15-2004, 12:05 AM
EMERGENCY!! HELP RENEW THE BAN!!
Due to the unacceptable number of deaths caused by black Corvettes (a whopping 1.5% of all vehicle accidents) in the early ‘90s, President Clinton and the Federal government decided to ban them for the good of all. Starting in 1994, no black Corvettes could be manufactured or sold to the public. (However, those who owned black Corvettes at the time the ban was passed were allowed to keep them.) All other colors of Corvettes were not affected by the ban, nor were the MUCH more powerful but friendlier-looking Viper, Ferrari and Porsche sports cars.
Unfortunately, those evil, murderous, money-hungry executives at GM found a “loophole” in the ban! Now that black Corvettes could no longer be sold, GM released “midnight blue” Corvettes, much to the chagrin of advocacy groups such as “BlackVetteControl Inc.” They could do nothing but complain about GM’s deviousness and waited for the ensuing carnage. Well, surprisingly it never came.
Fast forward to one week ago: it’s ten years later and the Black Corvette Ban is ready to expire or “sunset”. BCB advocacy groups everywhere are terrified at the thought of black Corvettes roaming the streets once again. The media is awash with images of the black vehicles spewing death on every corner, though for some reason the news footage usually shows black military-spec Humvees (referred to as black Corvettes) and rarely actual black Corvettes, revealing the media’s ignorance or more likely intent to deliver misleading information. Ban supporters even call on the President to do something about it, but unfortunately common sense and the evil VOA (Vette Owners Association) had too much influence.
Well, as of yesterday the BCB expired. Ban supporters say the ban was a success and needs to be renewed, and point to a 65% reduction in the number of deaths involving black Corvettes. Never mind the fact that the total number of Corvettes sold annually has actually INCREASED since the ban was enacted, and that the total number of Corvette-related deaths remains a mere 1.5% of all vehicle deaths. You guessed it, statistically black Corvettes aren’t any more dangerous than any other color Corvette and they’re involved in far fewer incidents than pretty much any other vehicle on the road.
The question is; why were black Corvettes outlawed in the first place? Are these kinds of laws good for America? Or are they only good for grandstanding politicians? You decide. I’ll be out trading in my "midnight blue" Corvette for a mean-looking new black one.
Due to the unacceptable number of deaths caused by black Corvettes (a whopping 1.5% of all vehicle accidents) in the early ‘90s, President Clinton and the Federal government decided to ban them for the good of all. Starting in 1994, no black Corvettes could be manufactured or sold to the public. (However, those who owned black Corvettes at the time the ban was passed were allowed to keep them.) All other colors of Corvettes were not affected by the ban, nor were the MUCH more powerful but friendlier-looking Viper, Ferrari and Porsche sports cars.
Unfortunately, those evil, murderous, money-hungry executives at GM found a “loophole” in the ban! Now that black Corvettes could no longer be sold, GM released “midnight blue” Corvettes, much to the chagrin of advocacy groups such as “BlackVetteControl Inc.” They could do nothing but complain about GM’s deviousness and waited for the ensuing carnage. Well, surprisingly it never came.
Fast forward to one week ago: it’s ten years later and the Black Corvette Ban is ready to expire or “sunset”. BCB advocacy groups everywhere are terrified at the thought of black Corvettes roaming the streets once again. The media is awash with images of the black vehicles spewing death on every corner, though for some reason the news footage usually shows black military-spec Humvees (referred to as black Corvettes) and rarely actual black Corvettes, revealing the media’s ignorance or more likely intent to deliver misleading information. Ban supporters even call on the President to do something about it, but unfortunately common sense and the evil VOA (Vette Owners Association) had too much influence.
Well, as of yesterday the BCB expired. Ban supporters say the ban was a success and needs to be renewed, and point to a 65% reduction in the number of deaths involving black Corvettes. Never mind the fact that the total number of Corvettes sold annually has actually INCREASED since the ban was enacted, and that the total number of Corvette-related deaths remains a mere 1.5% of all vehicle deaths. You guessed it, statistically black Corvettes aren’t any more dangerous than any other color Corvette and they’re involved in far fewer incidents than pretty much any other vehicle on the road.
The question is; why were black Corvettes outlawed in the first place? Are these kinds of laws good for America? Or are they only good for grandstanding politicians? You decide. I’ll be out trading in my "midnight blue" Corvette for a mean-looking new black one.