Schwarzenegger Signs Bill Banning Sex with Corpses

[N8]

...well liberals... is what people do in their own graves their business?

This law just has to suck for Hugh Hefner...

Schwarzenegger Signs Bill Banning Sex with Corpses
Reuters | 9-10-04

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - Having sex with corpses is now officially illegal in California after Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger signed a bill barring necrophilia, a spokeswoman said on Friday.

The new legislation marks the culmination of a two-year drive to outlaw necrophilia in the state and will help prosecutors who have been stymied by the lack of an official ban on the practice, according to experts.

"Nobody knows the full extent of the problem. ... But a handful of instances over the past decade is frequent enough to have a bill concerning it," said Tyler Ochoa, a professor at Santa Clara University School of Law who has studied California cases involving allegations of necrophilia.

"Prosecutors didn't have anything to charge these people with other than breaking and entering. But if they worked in a mortuary in the first place, prosecutors couldn't even charge them with that," Ochoa said.

The state's first attempt to outlaw necrophilia, in response to a case of a man charged with having sex with the corpse of a 4-year-old girl in Southern California, stalled last year in a legislative committee.

Lawmakers revived the bill this year after an unsuccessful prosecution of a man found in a San Francisco funeral home drunk and passed out on top of an elderly woman's corpse.

The new law makes sex with a corpse a felony punishable by up to eight years in prison.

[LordOpie]

A. Wow, people need to be told not to fvck a corpse? :rolleyes:
2. Do dead people have rights?
#. What if your loved one, err, bizarre fvck-buddy, signed legal papers giving consent?

[BurlyShirley]

I get so tired of these republicans pushing their moral agendas on society.

[Tenchiro]

Good thing Burly Lives in TN and can fock all the corpses he wants.

:monkey:

[jaydee]

Probably a necessary law in Californica

[BillT]

Maybe Arnold is just trying to get an excuse to not have sex with his wife...she's looking VERY skeletal these days.

[LordOpie]

Maybe Arnold is just trying to get an excuse to not have sex with his wife...she's looking VERY skeletal these days.
oh snap! :devil:

Welcome to da :monkey: hurricane-boy

[zod]

note to self: cancel trip to California :evil:

[TheMontashu]

I get so tired of these republicans pushing their moral agendas on society.
I'm so tired of hippies whining about it

[LordOpie]

haha, BurlyHippieSurly got told!

[BurlyShirley]

I'm so tired of hippies whining about it


You fricking newb.

[TheMontashu]

what couse I dont like ehiney sh!ts

[LordOpie]

what couse I dont like ehiney sh!ts
No, because you made an assumption... that was incorrect.

[valve bouncer]

Hey Montashu, you any relation to Lobo del Fuego (sic?)? He was the last clueless young 'un we had on here.

[zod]

hey Burly....

http://www.stickergiant.com/Merchant2/imgs/250/g116.gif

[narlus]

Maybe Arnold is just trying to get an excuse to not have sex with his wife...she's looking VERY skeletal these days.

i was thinking the exact same thing. looks like she is on the iggy stooge herion diet. they can transport her via a wheat thin.

[BillT]

I saw some preview for an interview special she was doing a couple of days ago and she definately had a Crypt Keeper thing going on with her face.

[BurlyShirley]

I was just thinking about this and wondering WHY is it illegal? Why should the government have ANYTHING to say about what a rational adult does with a corpse behind closed doors? It aint hurting anyone?

[Westy]

I was just thinking about this and wondering WHY is it illegal? Why should the government have ANYTHING to say about what a rational adult does with a corpse behind closed doors? It aint hurting anyone?

Because it wouldn't be that hard to mistakenly have sex with the undead. And if the undead get pregnant the resulting hybrid living undead children would wreak havok upon the earth. And I am sure the living undead children would demand equal rights. And I don't know about you, but I don't want my kids going to the same school as those stinky living undead kids.

Anyway I would never have sex with a corpse, I'd be too afraid a maggot would crawl up my pee hole.

[LordOpie]

I was just thinking about this and wondering WHY is it illegal? Why should the government have ANYTHING to say about what a rational adult does with a corpse behind closed doors? It aint hurting anyone?
I know you're joking, but...

it does hurt the loved ones of the deceased, but other than that, you're right, it doesn't hurt the dead person.

Would this constitute rape?

[ALEXIS_DH]

wait, it depends. legaly who owns the body??. doesnt the closest family get the body???

and if you bang a corpse, its like if you rape their property.
and yeah, they will get mad.
so still, taking away the cultural value of a corpse, its like if you were stuffing their stuff. and you would still get sued say, if you mess around with their property.

[BurlyShirley]

wait, it depends. legaly who owns the body??. doesnt the closest family get the body???

and if you bang a corpse, its like if you rape their property.
and yeah, they will get mad.
so still, taking away the cultural value of a corpse, its like if you were stuffing their stuff. and you would still get sued say, if you mess around with their property.


But what if the corpse was your property? :think:

[Westy]

But what if the corpse was your property? :think:

Good point, it's legal to play pokey with a pork chop as long as it is your pork chop, dead meat is dead meat.

[ALEXIS_DH]

But what if the corpse was your property? :think:


yeah, i thought that too.

and actually if it yours, well, theorethically it could be treated like any property. :think:

but there is this law now, which is based on social conventions like dont screw a corpse, or dont eat human meat and stuff. :nono:

[El Jefe]

How dumb do you have to be to get caught fvcking a corpse?

clarification question... this law applies only to actual dead people, and not those who just lie there as if they were dead, right? Just inquiring so I know whether someone screwing my ex-wife would get arrested....poor bastard, I guess the sex with her is punishment enough.

[BurlyShirley]

yeah, i thought that too.

and actually if it yours, well, theorethically it could be treated like any property. :think:

but there is this law now, which is based on social conventions like dont screw a corpse, or dont eat human meat and stuff. :nono:

...and dudes dont marry dudes people cant marry cousins?

[Tenchiro]

Damn, this thread is making me horny...

:oink:

[ALEXIS_DH]

...and dudes dont marry dudes people cant marry cousins?


well you gotta draw the line at some point after all.

so no inbreeding, and no corpse screwing, but yes gay marriage.

just like no coke, no marihuana, but yes alcohol and tobacco. which is better than yes to all. but a no to all would be an unrealisitic expectation in reality.


you know, people need to get some of their vices allowed, but most banned. :thumb:
otherwise banning them causes more problems than making a few of them legal, within the limits of rights and respect to other "alive" humans.

[Westy]

Damn, this thread is making me horny...

:oink:

It's making me hungry.

[llkoolkeg]

I wonder if the nuts who make laws like this necessary are considerate lovers, i.e. do they give preparatory oral favors and do a good job of it or do they just push it a time or two and spew? Do they kiss or use protection? Pillowtalk and afterglow cuddling are probably somewhat hampered...

Seriously, anyone who is willing or seeking to do THAT is so far beyond skullfvcked that they should be indefinitely jailed before they start creating bodies for other like-minded morticians to drool onto. Otherwise before long, the sickos'll start collecting and trading them online or try to sell 'em on ebay.

[llkoolkeg]

How dumb do you have to be to get caught fvcking a corpse?


Are you suggesting that it is easy to get away with, Jefe? :o:

[Jesus]

Doing some thinking, and trying to understand how a person would do it. It doesn't take long for a body to get cold, and I know my "manhood" shrinks at the cold, so I can't see how it would work.

Unless you could warm up the body somehow...

I've seen a couple of cute dead chicks. Mabye I should have invested more time with them. Things might have worked out.

[El Jefe]

Are you suggesting that it is easy to get away with, Jefe? :o:

I uhh, well, I hmm.. uhh.....

[El Jefe]

I've seen a couple of cute dead chicks. Mabye I should have invested more time with them. Things might have worked out.


That's pretty sad when even a dead chick shuts you out....how'd she do it? Did she just give you the cold shoulder? :D

[ALEXIS_DH]

Doing some thinking, and trying to understand how a person would do it. It doesn't take long for a body to get cold, and I know my "manhood" shrinks at the cold, so I can't see how it would work.

Unless you could warm up the body somehow...

I've seen a couple of cute dead chicks. Mabye I should have invested more time with them. Things might have worked out.


well they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and that the brain is the biggest sex organ.

so they probably can get the deed done without any external stimilus other than their twisted brains.

just like dubya and barbara and viceversa, or clinton and hillary, and all the old folks doing business.

[llkoolkeg]

Doing some thinking, and trying to understand how a person would do it. It doesn't take long for a body to get cold, and I know my "manhood" shrinks at the cold, so I can't see how it would work.

Unless you could warm up the body somehow...


Well, you could always preheat them in a waterbed for an hour or two, being sure to rotate halfway through so as to promote even cooking. Also, they make "heated" lubricants now that impart a felling of warmth to the, ahem, "bawdy" bits.

[Jesus]

Well, you could always preheat them in a waterbed for an hour or two, being sure to rotate halfway through so as to promote even cooking. Also, they make "heated" lubricants now that impart a felling of warmth to the, ahem, "bawdy" bits.

Damn, I didn't know that. Liquid heat...

Tell you what, i'll "research" this a little more and get back with you guys.

[BurlyShirley]

a jacuzzi is all you need...


or if you're in a real rush...a curling iron

[Lexx D]

a jacuzzi is all you need...


or if you're in a real rush...a curling iron
And bring that tub of KY you "practicing" with. :p

[Jesus]

a jacuzzi is all you need...


or if you're in a real rush...a curling iron

Curling iron might work if it doesn't start cookin'.

But a no-go on the jacuzzi. In my experience, dead people tend to "leak/ooze" a lot. And I don't want to corpse funk in my jacuzzi.

[Lexx D]

Curling iron might work if it doesn't start cookin'.

But a no-go on the jacuzzi. In my experience, dead people tend to "leak/ooze" a lot. And I don't want to corpse funk in my jacuzzi.
I don't know what to think when Jesus is talking about sex with the dead and "corpse funk" :p

[Jesus]

I hooked up Lazarus didn't I?