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ButHerFly
04-21-2004, 09:53 AM
Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband
rolling around in pain on the ground?
A. Shoot him again.

Q. Why do little boys whine?
A. Because they're practicing to be men.

Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One - he just holds it up there and waits for the
world to revolve around him. Or, Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
A. Trustworthy.

Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed
gasping for breath and calling your name?
A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A. Because not one will stop and ask directions.

Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A. To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the
toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: How does a man keep his youth?
A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

Send this to bright, funny women you know and make their day!!
And send this to bright men who have the sense of humor to find this funny!

Ridemonkey
04-21-2004, 09:56 AM
Hey, I resemble this post. :think:

rainbow_smoke
04-21-2004, 12:20 PM
hahaha those are funny!

laura
04-21-2004, 12:31 PM
Originally posted by ButHerFly

Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One - he just holds it up there and waits for the
world to revolve around him. Or, Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.





BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TreeSaw
04-21-2004, 05:46 PM
LOL! Those are great!!! :D

RhinofromWA
04-21-2004, 06:13 PM
I am forwarding that to my girl. :D

Q: How does a man keep his youth?
A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds

:think: I am lucky in that respect. Though I did just buy her a diamond engagement ring last month, and a leather jacket for X-mas......:think: :eek: ;)

Really, she was embarrassed I spent money like that on her. She is worth it, but she doesn't demand it. That is a nice combination.

Rhino

Lucee
04-21-2004, 06:15 PM
Aha! Thanks, just what I needed...

toughguymagee
04-26-2004, 09:26 AM
Originally posted by ButHerFly
Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the
toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.


HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

MaineDHrider
05-10-2004, 07:53 PM
:angry: I thought it was funny. But my girlfriend makes some damn good sanwiches so it's all good.

chicodude
05-17-2004, 01:38 AM
no respect, none at all......

crashedupderby
05-21-2004, 08:27 AM
to retort to your man bashing humor i have one for you....


why do women wear makeup and perfume?


cause they are ugly and they smell bad.

freeriding101
05-29-2004, 11:04 PM
Originally posted by crashedupderby
to retort to your man bashing humor i have one for you....


why do women wear makeup and perfume?


cause they are ugly and they smell bad.

that is so stupid its funny

Curiouscaptian01
06-02-2004, 02:18 PM
Originally posted by crashedupderby
to retort to your man bashing humor i have one for you....


why do women wear makeup and perfume?


cause they are ugly and they smell bad.

that is great

flatulant_man
06-22-2004, 01:59 PM
these are great. i laughed a lot. just because they perfectly describe me doesn't mean I can't still laugh at them

bpatterson6
07-01-2004, 05:30 PM
...and when your married, you appreciate them more.
I do love women that ride bikes. Especially DH & FR

grimm
07-02-2004, 11:49 AM
most those jokes can easily be reversed and still laughed at, these gender type jokes are all the same, just switch women vs man back and forth basically. :rolleyes:

btw, some of the posted ones were funny, others were not

jeremy
07-08-2004, 09:28 AM
Q-what's the difference between a woman and a washing machine?
A-a washing machine doesn't follow you around after you throw a load in it.


Q-what's the difference between a woman and a refridgerator?
A- a refridgerator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.


...sorry ladies!.......

Bullitrider
07-16-2004, 11:39 AM
^^^ Below the belt but I LMAO.

fuzzynutz
07-23-2004, 05:34 PM
sounds like a lesbian

genpowell71
07-25-2004, 08:58 PM
Say what you will, but you need us bug killing, nail driving, car fixing, grass cutting men.

jon cross
08-03-2004, 10:41 PM
Fuzzynuts- "sounds like a lesbian"


I believe the pc term is "woman in comfortable shoes" ;)

UltraViolet
08-19-2004, 01:48 PM
i might be a guy but those where very funny indeed! :)

urbanhuckbot
08-20-2004, 07:02 AM
question: why couldnt helen keller drive?







answer: because she was a woman.

laura
08-20-2004, 08:11 AM
awwwwww it looks like some people got their little feelings hurt. suck it up princesses, noboby invited you in here anyway.

hardtailer88
08-21-2004, 04:55 PM
aaaaaaaaaahahaha.... hilarious stuff

urbanhuckbot
08-23-2004, 06:20 AM
women are the meanest animal on the face of the earth.

what other animal bleeds for a week and doesnt die?