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View Full Version : Evangelical Haggard Claims He Was Molested By Republican Congressman


jimmydean
11-10-2006, 11:19 AM
:D Link (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/55141)

COLORADO SPRINGS, CO—Evangelical leader Ted Haggard, who stepped down last week after confessing that he purchased methamphetamines and various services from a male prostitute, revealed Wednesday that he was repeatedly molested by an unnamed Republican congressman in the late 1990s. "We would communicate on the Internet and then meet in his Washington office to, I thought, discuss faith-based initiatives," said Haggard in a tearful admission in which he asked for the forgiveness of God and his congregation. "Before long, he had progressed from praying alongside me to having me sit on his lap at his desk, and then to touching me in my bathing-suit area. I trusted the congressman, and he violated that trust." Authorities have not acted on Haggard's allegations, saying that Republicans are often accused of wrongdoings simply because so many of them lead secret gay or criminal lifestyles.

Secret Squirrel
11-10-2006, 11:23 AM
This guy has to be messed up...what adult, not talking to their kid, references it as "the bathing suit area"....

And what he thought: "meet in his Washington office to, I thought, discuss faith-based initiatives"

...was correct...they just weren't what you'd call mainstream...(har!)

stinkyboy
11-10-2006, 11:34 AM
God bless The Onion.

narlus
11-10-2006, 11:55 AM
LMAO!!!

Authorities have not acted on Haggard's allegations, saying that Republicans are often accused of wrongdoings simply because so many of them lead secret gay or criminal lifestyles.

H8R
11-10-2006, 11:58 AM
Took me a second on this one. Sometimes the Onion does not need to stretch too far to make the funny.

valve bouncer
11-10-2006, 12:04 PM
This guy has to be messed up...what adult, not talking to their kid, references it as "the bathing suit area"....

And what he thought: "meet in his Washington office to, I thought, discuss faith-based initiatives"

...was correct...they just weren't what you'd call mainstream...(har!)
SS- you have been sauted. Wear this with pride. You ain't the first.

jimmydean
11-10-2006, 12:17 PM
This was sent to me by a co-worker and also took me a minute. It's funny because it could be true without too many changes.

Secret Squirrel
11-10-2006, 12:25 PM
This was sent to me by a co-worker and also took me a minute. It's funny because it could be true without too many changes.

I didn't click the link....d'oh

That'll learn me....