What's in the Book of Mormon that's not in any other bibles?

[BurlyShirley]

Just curious as to what the hell is in there thats so damned important. Blue? Is it better than other bibles? I know I can google, but you guys are usually a little more entertaining.

Any aliens living in volcanos?

I think I heard once that Jesus visited the indians? Is this so?

[$tinkle]

quite seriously, watch battlestar galactica. that pretty much sums up mormon theology.

[stevew]

lions and tigers and bears, oh my...

[reflux]

If you have the time and motivation, read "Under the Banner of Heaven." It gave me some good insight into the religion.

The Book of Mormon is the new testimate (sp?) of Jesus Christ. The gist: it tells Mormons that they are the followers of the one true religion. Come the end of the world, Mormons will be saved while everyone else if fvcked.

As to what exactly is in the BOM, a few stories that are no less believable than those in the old and new testemates(sp?).

[skatetokil]

testimate? who are you?

[Munster]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwZrFQ7Vdx8&mode=related&search=south%20park%20%2B%20mormon

[stevew]

testimate? who are you?
So are you starting a revolution from mom & dads basement?

[Secret Squirrel]

Just curious as to what the hell is in there thats so damned important. Blue? Is it better than other bibles? I know I can google, but you guys are usually a little more entertaining.

Any aliens living in volcanos?

I think I heard once that Jesus visited the indians? Is this so?

Obviously it's better than other bibles....see: Jeffs....

Also, why else would anyone live in Utah if they weren't persecuted?

All I know is, when two of 'em came over to a buddy of mines' house on a Sunday morning, none have ever been back to that entire neighborhood....no Witness's either....mighty strange. All I remember is: having the hangover from hell, him offering them half empties with just a couple of cig butts in 'em, and him sitting on the couch in a wife beater and boxers with his left nut hangin' out telling them that he had a dream that two travelers would come and god told him that he was the lamb of god.....it was very surreal...

[DRB]

Jesus in a spaceship.

[BurlyShirley]

Obviously it's better than other bibles....see: Jeffs....

Also, why else would anyone live in Utah if they weren't persecuted?

All I know is, when two of 'em came over to a buddy of mines' house on a Sunday morning, none have ever been back to that entire neighborhood....no Witness's either....mighty strange. All I remember is: having the hangover from hell, him offering them half empties with just a couple of cig butts in 'em, and him sitting on the couch in a wife beater and boxers with his left nut hangin' out telling them that he had a dream that two travelers would come and god told him that he was the lamb of god.....it was very surreal...


wtf is it with lambs all the time? Its perverse.

[MMike]

Multiple bitches an' ho's is A-ok....

Says it just like that.....

[jimmydean]

2 chicks at one time...

I think it's Mormon's that have "the magic spectacles"

Ah Ha!:

Mormonism originated with Joseph Smith (1805-44), the unschooled son of a New York Farmer. Smith claimed that in 1827 he had a vision of the angel Moroni who revealed to him a set of golden plates, written in a mysterious language by the Prophet Mormon, which contained the history of the ancient inhabitants of America. Using a pair of magic spectacles, Smith translated the golden plates into English, and this was published in 1830 as The Book of Mormon.

[partsbara]

'Mormonism originated with Joseph Smith (1805-44), the unschooled son of a New York Farmer. Smith claimed that in 1827 he had a vision of the angel Moroni who revealed to him a set of golden plates, written in a mysterious language by the Prophet Mormon, which contained the history of the ancient inhabitants of America. Using a pair of magic spectacles, Smith translated the golden plates into English, and this was published in 1830 as The Book of Mormon.'

sounds totally plausible :rolleyes:

[ALEXIS_DH]

the angel moroni, hehe... how fitting....

[Transcend]

Damn, parts beat me to it. I learned all I needed to learn about mormons from South Park. Who said cartoons couldn't be effective learning tools?

[skatetokil]

So are you starting a revolution from mom & dads basement?

No, they dont have a basement.

I just spent a bunch of time in Cuba and I'm researching a paper on Venezuela under Chavez so I'm sort of up to my ears in leftist revolutionaries. My domestic politics borrow very little from Castro and Chavez except that I share their distaste for our poorly planned forrays into empire building and I think that good old fashioned well argued radicalism is missing from the American policy debate.

[$tinkle]

Of course this is no more silly than the Old and New versions of the Babble... or the Koran or whatever Buddaists use.buddhists use kerosene

[Da Peach]

Boobs, no? (at least 4 at a time...)

[llkoolkeg]

Normally, I don't even open the door when they knock but one time when I was still in college, I did let them in...but only because it was two SMOKIN' hot momos. After about an hour or so of me trying to be all Barry White smooooth on 'em, I think they realized that the only way I was going to be calling out in transport to their particular version of god involved a bawdy polygamy test drive. They thanked me for my time, left a copy of their book and never set foot in my neighborhood again to the best of my knowledge. :biggrin:

[dante]

dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.... :biggrin:

[llkoolkeg]

you were hitting on two mormon dudes..???

sick!

Hey, it was college, I was young and foolish and was already experimenting with various contolled substances so...of course they were WOMEN, ya pillowmuncher!

:biggrin:

[valve bouncer]

buddhists use kerosene
Ooooh, very droll there el-stinko.:biggrin:

[moff_quigley]

From my limited understanding of Mormonism...the BOM is a fairly benign "testament" the true meat of Mormonism can be found in "Doctrines and Covenants."

[Secret Squirrel]

From my limited understanding of Mormonism...the BOM is a fairly benign "testament" the true meat of Mormonism can be found in "Doctrines and Covenants."

Also known as "Special Ed Puts on Special Spectacles".

[sanjuro]

moroni

[manimal]

From my limited understanding of Mormonism...the BOM is a fairly benign "testament" the true meat of Mormonism can be found in "Doctrines and Covenants."

which change depending on who's leading the church at the time.

[Nobody]

testemates

Similar to:

roommates
housemates
playmates

Meaning:

Things that bond with, play with, live with testes.

From:

... the old and new testemates(sp?).

[reflux]

testemates

Similar to:

roommates
housemates
playmates

Meaning:

Things that bond with, play with, live with testes.

From:
Thank you everyone. I was simply too lazy to verify the correct spelling on the interweb at the time of the post. Whatever.

[BurlyShirley]

Thank you everyone. I was simply too lazy to verify the correct spelling on the interweb at the time of the post. Whatever.

idiot:clue: :biggrin:

[blue]

Damn, parts beat me to it. I learned all I needed to learn about mormons from South Park. Who said cartoons couldn't be effective learning tools?

The funny part is, they really didn't deviate from the story the LDS (mormon) Church tells anyone.

To answer your question BS, nothing. There's a few random dogma things and such it explains, but nothing really worthy of starting your own religion. The BoM isn't the scary article of scripture in Mormonism, it's the Doctrine and Covenants ("Revelations" received by Mormon prophets since 1830) or the Pearl of Great Price ("addition" by Abraham to the bible) that are where you find true Momo freakiness that differentiates them from other Christians.

reflux is kind of wrong. According to the momo "Plan of Happiness", everyone will be "Saved" in a Christian sense, except for for those who denied the church whilst holding the Melchezidek priesthood (Most practicing male Mormons over the age of 19). They get to go to a fun place referred to as "Outer Darkness".

So, according to Mormon doctrine, some of my good friends will go to Hell, but Hitler and Stalin won't.

KEWL!

Religion is dumb.

Any other questions? I really should be drunk before elaborating about Mormonism and such...really gets me in the mood.

BTW, I think Kornphlake is still Mormon. But he lives in SoCal, so I don't think he "counts" ;)

[reflux]

idiot:clue: :biggrin:
Umm, have a great weekend to you too.:huh: :poster_oops:

[reflux]

I believe that my TheMontashu(?) impression has taken away from the real point of this thread: WTF are Moroni followers thinking?

[MikeD]

I believe that my TheMontashu(?) impression has taken away from the real point of this thread: WTF are Moroni followers thinking?

The same as every other religion...just that their story doesn't have the mists of thousands of years of distance to hide its ugly/incomprehensible parts.

I mean, it seems like insanity to trust a shady guy who dabbled in dowsing when he says he found the text of the one true religion in a hole and reads it with magic glasses...but if you believe, [I assume] you can see that his work with divination and divining was part of his finding his way into God's true plan.

Then again, this gets back to the fault of most Western religion as being an ego-centered, constructive pursuit, rather than an opening of yourself to a certain receptive state of mind. I think what you believe doesn't really matter...we're insignificant, our individual and collective beliefs and mental contructs are insignificant, and we should be trying to listen rather than profess.

MD

(Oh, and Shirl, read Under the Banner of Heaven, like Reflux said...you'll enjoy it.)

[Nobody]

Well, i'm a Buddhist, so i'm exempt from most of this malarkey.

I have my own.

[blue]

Oh yeah, BS, Mormons believe Native Americans were descendants of the Lamanites, one of the groups of people written about in the BoM who were visited by Christ (Commonly the "bad" people, the "good" people were the Nephites).

God made the Lamanites brown because they were wicked. The Nephites were whiteys. But the Lamanites kilt all of them after their Jeezus left...

No jokez. Welcome to inherent racism ingrained into a religion's doctrine.

[Silver]

No jokez. Welcome to inherent racism ingrained into a religion's doctrine.

The only thing I find more stupid than gay Republicans are black Mormons.

[BurlyShirley]

The only thing I find more stupid than gay Republicans are black Mormons.

Some people are able to get past their inherant evil. :banana:

[blue]

The only thing I find more stupid than gay Republicans are black Mormons.

What about black Mormon Republicans...IN UTAH? That there is a conundrum...

http://www.sltrib.com/utah/ci_4271000

Evans says he was called 'slave' in Rocky's speech
Anderson calls claim absurd:
' . . . never did I think he could stoop so low and get it so wrong'
By Heather May
The Salt Lake Tribune

James Evans - the Salt Lake County Republican Party chairman, who is black - is accusing Mayor Rocky Anderson of calling him a "slave."
During Anderson's speech at an anti-Bush protest Wednesday, the Democratic mayor ad-libbed during the beginning of his speech and called out Evans:
"So, to James Evans and these folks who financed this massive radio campaign these last few days [urging Anderson to forgo the protest], let them finally understand, blind faith in bad leaders is not patriotism.
"A patriot does not tell people who are intensely concerned about their country to just sit down and be quiet; to refrain from speaking out in the name of politeness or for the sake of being a good host; or to show slavish, blind obedience and deference to a dishonest, war-mongering, human-rights-violating president."
Saying Anderson is an "expert" with his words, Evans noted the mayor didn't refer to others by name who criticized Anderson for his protest.
"I can't believe he just called me a slave. He was saying James Evans is a slave to the Republican Party and to President Bush."
Evans is demanding a public apology. "If he were a white Republican male and I were a Democrat and I said, 'Hey, I'm calling you on this,' the media would be all over it."
Anderson released a statement calling Evans' claim "absurd."
"In the past, James Evans has gone to great lengths to attack me in the most partisan manner, but never did I think he could stoop so low and get it so wrong. I recommend that all residents read or listen to my speech and determine for themselves whether there is any basis for James' twisted interpretation.
"I didn't even refer to James or the Republicans who financed the recent radio campaign against dissent in my written speech, but was moved while delivering the speech to make reference to them because of their partisan support of this disastrous presidency."
The two started sparring when Evans was in the state Senate representing the west side of Salt Lake City.

[Nobody]

Sorry, don't get the 'thou art a slave' reference here...

"A patriot does not tell people who are intensely concerned about their country to just sit down and be quiet; to refrain from speaking out in the name of politeness or for the sake of being a good host; or to show slavish, blind obedience and deference to a dishonest, war-mongering, human-rights-violating president."

...but, time to play the race card, I suppose.

[Silver]

What about black Mormon Republicans...IN UTAH? That there is a conundrum...

http://www.sltrib.com/utah/ci_4271000

That man is clearly retarded. It's probably because he's got the mark of Cain on him...

[blue]

That man is clearly retarded. It's probably because he's got the mark of Cain on him...

Bwaaaahahahahaa...

BTW - Rocky Anderson is the scorn of Mormons throughout Utah.