=þ

[Jorvik]

As much as I am pleased to know you are listening to Cash, you are still an idiot.

[monkeyboy424]

Originally posted by Jorvik
As much as I am pleased to know you are listening to Cash, you are still an idiot.

well answer the question you girl scout cookie!

[Jorvik]

I'd hit you with an proper porcelain one.

The only way to fly.

[monkeyboy424]

Originally posted by monkeyboy424
you girl scout cookie!

[Jorvik]

Originally posted by monkeyboy424
I am a dullard

[monkeyboy424]

Originally posted by Jorvik
I AM NOT ORIGINAL, I COPY MONKEY BOY WHO RULES AND I DROOL!

[Jorvik]

Way to use non bold type. You didn't convince me, whereas the quote of you on my last post probably had you searching back for pages looking for where you typed that.

Halfwit.

[monkeyboy424]

nowit

[amateur]

oh damn, i thought someone entered our holy domain when i saw the last post by slick50

[Jorvik]

Yeah, no kidding. I was about to whip out a garden hose and start beating them with it.


After I got done with monkeyboy, of course.

[monkeyboy424]

of course, you dont want to rush into such a relationship...

[Jorvik]

I'll rush into any damn thing I please, INCLUDING YOUR ASS WITH MY BOOT.

[monkeyboy424]

really? what kind of boot? catepillar?

[amateur]

Originally posted by monkeyboy424
really? what kind of boot? catepillar?
no, you're not deserving of a caterpillar, it'd be a normal shoe with some sheet metal duct taped to the end for extra glide

[Jorvik]

Monkeyboy, you are an insubordinate simpleton. The proper thing to do for you is to give you a tonic water enema. FEEL THE CLENSING BUBBLES, LOVE THE CLENSING BUBBLES!

[monkeyboy424]

just for saying simpleton to insult me practially every other thread, you are a simpelton....

[amateur]

Originally posted by monkeyboy424
just for saying simpleton to insult me practially every other thread, you are a simpelton....
and you're plain dumb

i think you missed a big C (for the cock mongrel you are)

[monkeyboy424]

yah well i dotn like youi

[Jorvik]

I've used "simpleton" twice. I'm going to use it again.

You're a damned simpleton monkeyboy, a damned simpleton.

[monkeyboy424]

i read a very interesting paper today about kangaroos...

[amateur]

i'm coming up northernly way this summer monkey boy. watch what you say or i'll follow through with all of Jerkvic's threats

[monkeyboy424]

are you really commin up here?

i would be glad to show you around, and of cousre constanly insult you with the given opportunity...

[amateur]

i might be, but pretty much only for northstar :o:

[ChainWhip]

=p

Been a while since I've posted in here...

[Jorvik]

Hold me!

[monkeyboy424]

what would the baby of a hippopotamus and a racoon look like?


discuss

(no saying it isnt possible)

[Jorvik]

Woah.

I had an incident with a racoon today. I was mowing the back lawn, and I saw a lump of fur. Unsure of what it was, I poked it with a stick. It moved a little. It was identified as a rabid racoon. I called my mom, asking if she wanted me to bash it or just let it be. Being the worrier that she is, she said to call animal control to shoot it with a dart. Well, I called the police who informed me that due to budget cuts, the animal control got cut. Now they just send a squad car over. So, the officer comes over, into the back yard and sez "Yup, thats a 'coon alright. I'll shoot it for you." I just nodded in agreement, and prepared to watch the fun. He pulled out his service automatic and shot the little bastard in the neck from 3 feet away. He shot the neck to keep it from "getting messy". We waited for it to die, which took about 7 minutes. While we watched it gasp for air, we talked about killing little furry things. He said that the hardest thing to kill was actually a woodchuck. Said that they're always trying to get back their hole, even when shot.

Fun times.

[monkeyboy424]

that is quite possiablly the funniest thing i have ever read in my whole life.

you just made my day, for this, your reward will be great in heaven...

now discuss the coon and hippo thing

[Jorvik]

Well, I think that the pure logistics of a racoon/hippo hybrid are mindboggling. I mean, how can a hippo mount a racoon? Or the other way around. The only thing I can think of is that the racoon would have to lodge itself in the female hippo's birth canal to get its freak on... still, I doubt it'll happen.

[monkeyboy424]

a very good point indeed....

[Jorvik]

Of course its a good point, its mine.

So, monkeyboy, how are the little boys treating you? (On a related note, pedophelia is for youngsters before they hit puberty, statutory rape is after. I didn't know this until a week or so ago.)

[monkeyboy424]

they are scared of people like you, so i wouldnt know

[amateur]

damn damn damn damn damn damn

my job had a lot of people return from last year, so no spots for me, hence no money, at least for a little while. at least my other job still wants me :( :o:

no dh bike this year:mad: :mad:

[monkeyboy424]

THat sucks! im sorry!

will you have your old dh bike? or any bike?

[amateur]

Originally posted by monkeyboy424
THat sucks! im sorry!

will you have your old dh bike? or any bike? yes, well, i think child labor laws prohibit what i was doing, but bullocks to the rules. i have no dh bike, merely a bike that ride really weird thanks to the boxxer team i bough in preparation and of course, i'll always have my hardtail

[monkeyboy424]

good to hear

well

my hardtail is my dh bike
and my everything else biek too

so atleast you ave 2 biked!

[amateur]

Originally posted by monkeyboy424
good to hear

well

my hardtail is my dh bike
and my everything else biek too

so atleast you ave 2 biked!
it is nice, but sometimes it seems like more trouble than it's worth, however i worked my arse off and i'm happy to be here, yet i still have no car.

my schedule for the summer was looking like this:

lifeguard from either 9-5, 10-6, 11-7, and then one day of 12-6
then work 4 nights a week from 9pm-3am at a bowling alley, but i was lucky enough to schedule my days off so i had a hellish week then a nice, restfull weekend

[Jorvik]

My work now is all strictly under the table construction work. Its pretty sweet, 10 bucks an hour no tax. My next job is going to be a bit more demanding as I enlisted in the US Marine Corps today. Oo rah.

[monkeyboy424]

just curious, why?

i dont mean to be offensive....

[Jorvik]

No offense taken in the least.

I joined for a myriad of reasons. I joined because I feel I owe my country for the overly comfortable life I've lived to date. I joined because of the impression I got once I saw my first Marine. I joined because I need the challenge in my life. I joined because I want to be able to put on that uniform and say "I am a MARINE."

And I get to play with guns.

[monkeyboy424]

well congradulations my good man....

the guns will be fun

on a side note, it is 341251245712741257423958 degreesd here today

i am to used to the fog, this is quite bothersome

[Jorvik]

congraTulations, spelled with a "T"

I'm just somebody across the country on the internet. I'm pointing your spelling errors out so you don't horribly embarass yourself in front of somebody you love.

Tell me about the heat. It has been over 90 for 4 f ucking days. Jesus CHRIST. Humidity has been atrocious as well. Sweating my balls off I tell you, sweating my balls off.

It is a temperate 80 degrees here right now, I hope to hell that it doesn't get any hotter.

[monkeyboy424]

thanks for the info with the "T"

yah well the historic fog has rolled back in, and lemme tell you, i love it....

[Jorvik]

So I was at Fenway today watching the Sox deal with Florida, and it was HOT again. Sitting right in the sun with no breeze, ****ing sucked.

[monkeyboy424]

it was a wonderful 50 degrees today...

how great is that?

[Jorvik]

I wouldn't know.

Swack

[amateur]

what have we come to? we've gone from posting mindless dribble and useless banter to discussing our thoughts and feelings. :(

on a different note, i might get to go see davey on a lifeguard exchange program...

[Jorvik]

If you do see that sheep loving new zealandy daveW, give him a kick in his precious bits for me. :nuts:

[DaveW]

Muahahaahahahahaha................MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!

MY POSTWHOREING CANNOT BE DEFEATED!!!
Muahahahahahaha!!!


I hope you haven't been behaveing your self's while I've been outta the room?:devil:

[Jorvik]

You sneaky sheep ****er!

What the hell's the story, man? I know you were having computer trouble and whatnot. You get it all worked out?

This thread hasn't been the same without you, we only had Monkeyboy to bitch out. :nuts:

[DaveW]

Nope I'm still have huge prob's connecting to RM. :(
I've pinged the network and the prob seems to be that both of RMs servers response times are crap.
and as this only occurs at Ridemonkey so Aarons servers seem to hate me.
it's taken 1.5 hours to read your post and too get to this point of replying.
I'm ever so slightly f**ked off with this 16bytes download speed.

ohh well at least your doing a good job of keeping monkeyboy/girl in it's place (bottom of the heap). ;)

[Jorvik]

Jebus man, that makes me almost feel like I'm stealing what with my fast internet connection and all. Well, it really doesn't at all, but I was thinking something like that might make you feel a bit better. Not that I care or anything, but I just thought you might appreciate all the hard work and effort I go through to assuage your puny existance.

[monkeyboy424]

well a pleasure to see you too daveina dubbya

[Jorvik]

Monkeyboy, I WILL END YOU! :nuts:

[monkeyboy424]

battle axe with the jam pack

[monkeyboy424]

fool you better stand back

that is a sweet song

it is in riders anyomus

riders anyomus is a great film watch it, or pay.....

[Jorvik]

You need to be taken out back and hosed down.

[amateur]

Originally posted by Jorvik
You need to be taken out back and hosed down.
you must be slipping, you forgot the beating and sodomy with a brank part

[Jorvik]

I didn't get to that part yet. The hosing down is for lubrication (I feel nice today).

[monkeyboy424]

thank you for the burst of kindness

[Jorvik]

Now I'm mad again. SANDPAPER FOR LUBRICANT!!!

[monkeyboy424]

i like the feel of sandpaper....

[Jorvik]

You sick, sick ****.

[monkeyboy424]

ssooooooooooo true....

[Jorvik]

Monkeyboy, if you were a nun, I'd still hit you with a baseball bat.

[monkeyboy424]

why? got a thing against catholics?

any way, i was very nervous this morning becasue the intertnet was broken and i was nervous i woulkd not be able to reply toa any of your guys posts any more, but fear not....

HERRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS EDDIE!

[Jorvik]

Actually, I do have a thing against catholics, but thats neither here nor there.

You are an idiot.

[monkeyboy424]

i didnt care either, i just thought you were a catholic hater, you catholic hater...

[Jorvik]

Why don't you stick your willy in a blender and hit "Frappe?"

?

[monkeyboy424]

i have know idea, i dotn think i would do this unless i was under the influence of something.........

[amateur]

Originally posted by monkeyboy424
i have know idea, i dotn think i would do this unless i was under the influence of something.........
well, speaking of being under the influence of something, i thought i'd share my MASSIVE booze run yesterday:
13 bottles, 750ml of weird cheap vodka
5 1.75l bottle of potato vodka
2 bottle captain morgans
1 bottle goldschlagger
1 bottle barcardi limon
3 1.75l bottle of bacardi
2 bottles jager
1 decent sized bottle of 151
1 thing of blackberry brandy that i'm going to sell as jager

and to top things off, a girl i hadn't talked to since school called and asked if i wanted to "hook up"(i despise the saying) because she had heard from a friend that i liked her, granted, i don't and she isn't the ebst looking girl in the world, i'll take whatever i can get.

HOOOOOOOOORAAAAAAy

diemonkeyboy

[Jorvik]

Originally posted by amateur
well, speaking of being under the influence of something, i thought i'd share my MASSIVE booze run yesterday:
13 bottles, 750ml of weird cheap vodka
5 1.75l bottle of potato vodka
2 bottle captain morgans
1 bottle goldschlagger
1 bottle barcardi limon
3 1.75l bottle of bacardi
2 bottles jager
1 decent sized bottle of 151
1 thing of blackberry brandy that i'm going to sell as jager

and to top things off, a girl i hadn't talked to since school called and asked if i wanted to "hook up"(i despise the saying) because she had heard from a friend that i liked her, granted, i don't and she isn't the ebst looking girl in the world, i'll take whatever i can get.

HOOOOOOOOORAAAAAAy

diemonkeyboy


Ah, the underage alcohol runs. Looks like ~300 dollars worth right there. Good times. You should stick to beer though, everything else should be left for the women and effeminate male, such as monkeyboy. If you don't like the taste, learn.

[amateur]

Originally posted by Jorvik
Ah, the underage alcohol runs. Looks like ~300 dollars worth right there. Good times. You should stick to beer though, everything else should be left for the women and effeminate male, such as monkeyboy. If you don't like the taste, learn.
ahaha, you sound like a verteran. it was just over 200 of really cheap booze. I would get beer, however, it's not nearly as easy to store. That being said, i had quite a few yesterday. The rocket widget in guiness really pisses me off.

[monkeyboy424]

you are a pansy amatuer

you too jorvik

[Jorvik]

Originally posted by amateur
ahaha, you sound like a verteran. it was just over 200 of really cheap booze. I would get beer, however, it's not nearly as easy to store. That being said, i had quite a few yesterday. The rocket widget in guiness really pisses me off.

I've been doing that run for 4 years. Still only 18, so it still happens quite a bit. I'll buy a couple 12s of PBR every couple weeks. It holds me. The trick is to not share, or if you do, overcharge. You have no idea how much people will pay for booze. I was at a kegger on the 4th. Guy who owned the keg was charging 5 bucks for an unlimited cup. Well, suffice to say I didn't pay. Just took an empty PBR can and kept on filling it with the Miller High Life from the keg. And despite what the commercials say, MHL is NOT the champagne of beers.

[Jorvik]

Oh yeah, Monkeyboy sucks

[monkeyboy424]

i cant come back right now it is to late, i just want to be on top

good night thing 1 and thing 2 and dave w (if he is watching)

[amateur]

Originally posted by Jorvik
I've been doing that run for 4 years. Still only 18, so it still happens quite a bit. I'll buy a couple 12s of PBR every couple weeks. It holds me. The trick is to not share, or if you do, overcharge. You have no idea how much people will pay for booze. I was at a kegger on the 4th. Guy who owned the keg was charging 5 bucks for an unlimited cup. Well, suffice to say I didn't pay. Just took an empty PBR can and kept on filling it with the Miller High Life from the keg. And despite what the commercials say, MHL is NOT the champagne of beers.
moochers can go straight to hell. A run like this generally lasts me an my associates arounf a month or a month and a half. I seriously think i may have to get some sort of counseling if this continues ;). Girls(a select few at that) drink for free, but i'll beat the living piss out of anyone who tries anything with them

[Jorvik]

I've payed my dues. I've spent over 200 dollars on booze that I have had stolen from me. I will drink any one of my friend's whenever I please.

[amateur]

enough of thi "real" archive crap, up with useless banter!

[monkeyboy424]

LOL

i saw that thread, and dont worry i stood up of our little meeting place....

[Jorvik]

Yeah, I was scared for a moment.

Monkeyboy is an idiot.

[monkeyboy424]

i have said before, and i can say it again....

go suck a lemon

[Jorvik]

Monkeyboy, I'm going to stomp down on your grape so hard that your eyes will pop out. Fool.

[monkeyboy424]

hey way to steal that from Echo

or maybe not, he said he woudl kick somone in the grapes until there eyes popped out

so im sorry

anyway

hows it hangin?

[Jorvik]

I most certainly did not steal that from Echo. That is from SSGT Marino from my recruiting station. I quote "Realistically, if you stomp on that <explitive deleted>'s grape with your combat boot, his eyes will pop out."

[monkeyboy424]

AWSOME!

i hope i get to meet you one day jorvik, you have an awsome brain....

[Jorvik]

Of course you would. I'm a beast.

[monkeyboy424]

awsomeness

who is dickta?

[Jorvik]

ditka.

Your ignorence is amazing, ESPECIALLY given the abundence of SNL reruns.

Fool.

[amateur]

alrighty kids, i thought i'd share a bit of hard learned wisdome from tonight
stay far afar far far far far far away from the flavored bacardis

[Jorvik]

You shouldn't be touching that stuff anyways. For the wimmins, not us men.

And speaking of last night, I'm ****ing HUNG OVER.

[monkeyboy424]

have no fear monkey boy is here!

i was away for a week, but now i am back, waiting for my self esteem level to be lowred by the likes of yous twos....

[Jorvik]

I had a severe lack of little bitch during the past week. Good thing you're back.

[monkeyboy424]

yah it is good thing

i feel happy

i was hitting large jumps at the place i was vacationing at, well large for me anyway.

[Jorvik]

You know what else is large? Your stupidity.






That sucked, I know, I'm sorry. I've had a good day. Some would say too good a day to be posting on a message board. Some would also say that I'm not making sense. Some would ALSO say that I just kicked them in the nuts for talking too much.

[monkeyboy424]

yah well you accomplished what i wrote my self esteem is now lower

congratulations


ass

[Jorvik]

You need a garden hose shoved up ya bum and turned on full blast. That'll teach you.

[monkeyboy424]

i would also feel clean for years, meaning i wouldnt have to wipe

[Jorvik]

Wow, something you said actually made sense. Good job.

[monkeyboy424]

hey thanks

actually, i have been making sense for quite a while, its just that you have been under the influence of something every time youve read my posts.......

[Jorvik]

Well, yeah, ever since I finished school (for life? weird) I've noticed that my drinking has really been picking up. After my first year of the discovery of alcohol, I decided to only allow myself a couple drinks with friends and the like. Now I'm drinking like a fish again, much worse than before in fact. And I like it. :devil:

[amateur]

Originally posted by Jorvik
Well, yeah, ever since I finished school (for life? weird) I've noticed that my drinking has really been picking up. After my first year of the discovery of alcohol, I decided to only allow myself a couple drinks with friends and the like. Now I'm drinking like a fish again, much worse than before in fact. And I like it. :devil:
Hmmm... I've found jsut the opposite. Now that it's summer, I'm drinking a whole lot less. During the schoolyeaer it'd be like 3-5x a week, and now, it's been almost 3 weeks:confused: :confused:
I don't mind it, but, I guess depression is gone? It'll be interesting to see if it picks up again in Sept.

[Jorvik]

You just arn't living your summer the way it is supposed to be lived. Well, this is my last summer of youth, so I'm gonna enjoy it.

[monkeyboy424]

have either of you guys seen adam sandlers skit on SNL as the cajun man?

for some reason your conversations made me think of that...

[Jorvik]

No

[monkeyboy424]

well it is damn funny

yuh hear?

damn funny

[Jorvik]

Shut up you twit. You are terribly boring.

[monkeyboy424]

funny and true

i mena i sit hear talkin to you....

[Jorvik]

Hey, I'm the crazy one. I'll stab your testes off with a spoon if you keep up your jibber jabber.

[monkeyboy424]

well i just got back from a loveley cruise with my fellow sea scouts up to the delta, and sh!t it was fun!

it consisted of

-generator watch
-jet skiing
-kneeboarding/wakeboarding/skiing
-fratinizing with the female seascouts that came along...

ill tell you one thing, our boat is very slow

another thing is

watch sucks

[Jorvik]

Nice.

I worked.

I never got a fun trip or anything from my parents. I got work... :(

[monkeyboy424]

i wish i couldve worked....

i have exactly $7.67 right now.....


i have a fox fork that just got back from fox with new bushings and a rebuild, but they dont beleive it was under warrenty, so i have to find the repcite, and if i dont it is 95 bucks i do not have


oh man

i am F U C Ked

[Jorvik]

Yeah.

You should just cock slap them.

[monkeyboy424]

yuh know the thought crossed my mind...

[Jorvik]

Shut up you.

I've been drinking.

I don't need this insubordinationn.

I'll destroy your mother.

[monkeyboy424]

my mother? thats low sir, very low...

[Jorvik]

Not as low as your momma went on me last night! :eek:

[monkeyboy424]

how unoriginal yet not funny....


please enough with the mom jokes...

thank you

[Jorvik]

Watch your mouth man.

I'll say any damn thing I want.

Electric head.

[monkeyboy424]

vulvaface

[Jorvik]

Not bad.

For a petunia.

[monkeyboy424]

i know your AIM now, be afraid be very afraid.....

[Jorvik]

Don't you have something better to do? Like eat brunch?

Thats what I thought, brunch boy.

[monkeyboy424]

ah yes brunch...

you get all the joys of breakfast and lunch put TOGETHER!

[amateur]

Originally posted by monkeyboy424
ah yes brunch...

you get all the joys of breakfast and lunch put TOGETHER! I had cold soup out of a can today...alone :(

[DaveW]

Amatuer
Man sign up for the exchange program!!!!!!!!

monkey boy....you suck!

[Jorvik]

Monkeyboy, even lepers pity you.

[DaveW]

Ahh only 5 min 's to load pages.....now.

Muahahahahahahahahahahaha.........MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH A!!!

NOW YOU'LL NEVER BE RID OF ME!!

On your knees sinners or feel the wrath of my Iron Lemming. :eek: :devil:



Jorivk I had hoped that in my absence your banter might have improved.
Sadly this is not the case.:(
Enough of your impotent piffle paffle....you have a longer yellow streak than a stampede of Diarrhoea stricken Camels.

And even though your a lepper Jorvik, save your pity for humanoid life forms.

[Jorvik]

DaveW, you have given me the resolve to do one thing before I die. I will poop on your head. I swear this before the Lord, that I will poop on you. It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow. It may not even be within a decade, a century. But one day, when you are all a twitter thinking "look at me, I'm south of the equator, I'm Mr. Fancy Pants" I will poop on your head.

And Shepards we shall be,
For thee, my lord, for thee,
Power hath decended forth from thy hand,
That our feet may swiftly carry out thy command.
We will flow a river forth to thee,
And teeming with souls shall it ever be.
Et nomine Patris,
Et Filius,
Spiritus sanctus.

[DaveW]

Every time I fly across your country from now on I shall make a point of useing & flushing the toilet as much as possible in the hope that statistically speaking sooner or later your gonna be under it. :devil:

But in the meantime I shall put my crack team
of evil monkey scientists to work perfecting an
Intercontinental Balistic poop missile.
And take you out first.....A preventitive Pooping
you might say.

:D :cool:

[Jorvik]

Your post was good...

























































FOR ME TO POOP ON! :devil:

[DaveW]

Jorvik .......about all that empty space in your last post.




that empty space was the most intelligent thing you have ever posted here. :p :stupid:

[Jorvik]

Well, at least I'm not monkeyboy.

[monkeyboy424]

well i am back from a 3 day adventure in the trinity alps, and lemme say this!

technology rules!


oh how i missed food that was solid! something i didnt have to poor warm water into...

[Jorvik]

Go lick DaveW's crack.

[monkeyboy424]

no

[DaveW]

Awhhhhh please monkey boy.:love: :monkey: :love:

[monkeyboy424]

no

[Jorvik]

Monkeyboy, have some respect for yourself.

Lick it.

[monkeyboy424]

no

[DaveW]

OK Monkey boy/girl! :mad:
You asked for it ......It's the self combusting Gerbil for you!!!!! :eek: :devil: :dead: :devil: :dead: :monkey:

[Jorvik]

MONKEYBOY. DO MY BIDDING. LICK HIS CRACK.

Plus, nobody wants the self-combusting Gerbil.

[monkeyboy424]

no

[Jorvik]

Ever seen the buisness end of a spatula...

with your anus?

[DaveW]

Originally posted by Jorvik
MONKEYBOY. DO MY BIDDING. LICK HIS CRACK.

Plus, nobody wants the self-combusting Gerbil.

[DaveW]

Originally posted by Jorvik
MONKEYBOY. DO MY BIDDING. LICK HIS CRACK.

Plus, nobody wants the self-combusting Gerbil.


Well ......you see thing thing is with the self combusting Gerbil.
you won't be able to see it when it self combusts
(unless you've got fiber optic camera gear, and don't mind cleaning it after!).
How ever it will be fun to watch monkey boy/girl's face when it happens. :D :devil: :monkey:

[monkeyboy424]

well then, i think i have had my fill of Jorviks gay fantisies for today.......

what is with all the things getting shuffed up anus's eh jorvik? got something to tell us? my computer is next to a closet, maybe you should come out of it.....

[amateur]

Can you guess who's been working 6 day weeks and getting last minute work done in time for school? that's right, it's me.:(

[Jorvik]

Originally posted by monkeyboy424
well then, i think i have had my fill of Jorviks gay fantisies for today.......

what is with all the things getting shuffed up anus's eh jorvik? got something to tell us? my computer is next to a closet, maybe you should come out of it.....

Hey man, I get all these ideas from your mom.

[monkeyboy424]

oh ****


that was one good come back seriously....

i was expecting "**** you monkey"

but no!


pat your self on the back....

[DaveW]

Originally posted by monkeyboy424



pat your self on the back....

Preferably with an electric eel coated in Napalm.

Hey Amateur....school schmoooll.
Pitiful excuse.
Have you signed up for the Lifeguard exchange yet?

[amateur]

I've signed up for it, but the chances of me getting selected are basically nil:mad:

[Jorvik]

Eye of the Tiger man, Eye of the Tiger

You need to fight just to keep hope alive.

Go impress the people in charge by killing one of the other lifeguards who are trying for the exchange. Make them realize that you are the only true candidate...

[monkeyboy424]

jorvik got to a mental doctor.....


NOW!

[DaveW]

No no Monkey boy/girl
I think that Jorvik (surprisingly) is on TO something.
Instead of (as usual) ON something! :eek:

Yes I think a carefully exacuted series of mercy killings of the other canidates. Each one more dramatic and elegant inexacution than the previous. Culminating in an epic finale involving:

Jorvik
Monkey boy/girl
the entire contents of ....San Fransisco Zoo
most of San Fransisco's itinerant Transvestive population
6 metric tonnes of vasline
And the Statue of Liberty.
Brilliant!!!!!!!

:D :D :D :D

[narlus]

is this the S&M/watersports/bukake-varient of the south american forum?

good thing i've stayed away in the past. :eek:

[Jorvik]

Don't be getting all uppity. You know you love us for who we are.
:love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :oink:

[monkeyboy424]

awsomest

[DaveW]

awsomest?.........Yes, Yes I am.
:cool:

Narlus, it's just a little harmless gromit baiting.
Try it, I just know you'll come to like it. ;)

[Jorvik]

Monkeyboy - Ever been slapped with a halibut?

[monkeyboy424]

look on one of the other pages you f*ckhat, you said that already

[Jorvik]

Perhaps.

Answer the question, less you have a bath in dung.

[DaveW]

Well yeah .....but it was worth repeating. Fu*knuckle. :p

[DaveW]

Halibut Dung ?:confused:

[Jorvik]

Yes. The purest form of dung in existance. Halibut dung.

I wonder if this dung is too good for monkeyboy. And I think it is.

[monkeyboy424]

i thought wombat dung was the purest.....

[DaveW]

No monkeyboy your thinking of Platypus Dung.

Jorivk you may be right .....I'd recomend Mole poo's. :D

[Jorvik]

Even that may be too good for monkeyboy.

On a side note, I have no buisness riding a 15 foot wave. Ouch.

[monkeyboy424]

on the side of that side note....

i did my biggest drop today....


7ft to small tranny woo hoo!

[Jorvik]

Nice. Once you're over 2 feet drops, you possess the skills to do drops up to at least 12 feet. Its just a matter of balls.

[DaveW]

very nice monkey boy girl. :D
Jorvik .....you have no place full stop....so please .....STOP.....Fully. :p


:rolleyes: :D

on a bummer side note RM page loading speeds have slowed dramatically over the last 3-4 days.
it's now taking 50-60mins to load an RM page so ......I won't be back for a while till this speeds up again.
Cos I DONT have that much time to spare. :(

Ciao
Dave "space monkey" Waugh

[Jorvik]

I invented a song.

It is titled : Untitled

PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS
PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS
PENIS
PENIS
PENIS
PENIS
PENIS
PEEEEEEEEENIS

Thank you.

[monkeyboy424]

thas crazy!


my friend and i (yes, i do have firends) made up similar songs...

when a problem comes along you must penis, penis, penis good..

them dum... duh dum dum dum, crack that penis, etc etc

yes it is lame, but its more fun then what ever calss it was...

[Jorvik]

We are all dumber for having read that.

[monkeyboy424]

thanks


as i chat with you...

[Jorvik]

Go chat with your little soldier.

[monkeyboy424]

but arnt you the solider?

you are goning to be a marine if i am not mistaken....

[Jorvik]

What I meant was

Why don't you just whip out your pathetic little pecker and apoligize to it for not getting any.

[monkeyboy424]

oh ok...

By The Way....


SHUT UP, you......

[Jorvik]

Oooooooooooo, big words from a little man.

[DaveW]

I have come to the realisation ....after reading what you lil....."things" post in my absence.
THAT THIS THREAD IS F**KED !! ...without my esteemed presence.
You have seen but not managed to learn tha ancient art of insulting with style.
*tsk tsk tsk*....*sigh*
Jorvik you have some (faint/damm near nonexistant) promise....but the rest of you....
Learn not shall you of the wisdom.
you are not even worth having around in order to use you skin for the toilet paper of an triple buttocked GELF!!!!

here endith the lesson. :p
you gormless Gimp mongers! :p

[Jorvik]

They say that people who live in glass houses sink ships...




don't sink the ship davew...

don't sink the ship...

Shower tote

[monkeyboy424]

well

i dont exactly insult well over the internet


wait till i take over your new Z-land (woh cool abbrevation), and rule it, naturally....

i will make you the officail guy i insult

you ****nut!

[Jorvik]

SURRENDER THIS COUPON AND PRESENT YOUR BANK ONE CREDIT CARD OR HERTZ DISCOUT SAVINGS CARD FOR IDENTIFICATION!!!!!!!!!


AHHHHHH THE HORROR, THE HORROR!!!!

[DaveW]

Yes but as I'm on top .....I'll sink any glass house I see flying over my feet. :p

ps.....whats an officail???:confused: :monkey:

[Jorvik]

I before E except in Budweiser.

Remember that.

[biggins]

im everyones daddy.all who post should never forget that

[Jorvik]

Riiiiiiiiiiiight.

Welcome to the archives.

Monkeyboy is an idiot.
DaveW has some sort of napoleon complex.
And I am the alpha and the omega.

[monkeyboy424]

jorvik talks ****


he also smells like ****

he also also eats lots of ****

and no one likes him

!!!!!!!!!!!! **** HSITHI ****HSIHTISITSHTISTHISTHITHI

[Jorvik]

See what I mean?

Monkeyboy, quit talking smack and go cuddle with your momma. Its fun. I did it last night.

[monkeyboy424]

you friggen freak....


why'd you cuttel with your own mom you nutsack, **** fliggen, testicle groping....

BABBoON

[Jorvik]

I'll ask you again. I want an answer this time.

Have you ever been slapped with a halibut?

[monkeyboy424]

no, but i have eaten one

[DaveW]

Originally posted by monkeyboy424
no, but i have eaten one

So monkey boy is into Oral sex with fish.....

Bigguns owes a hell of a lot of unpaid child support payments.

Jorvik is trying to forment/cement a sadomasocistic relationship with monkey boy.

Amatuer is a David Hasslehof (sp?) in waiting.

And I AM GOD!!!!


.......COOL!:D :D

[Jorvik]

Think about this DaveW.

When I take a crap, my ass always points too your country.

Just something to ponder over...

[monkeyboy424]

woh thats depp jorvik. real deep...

[DaveW]

Originally posted by Jorvik
Think about this DaveW.

When I take a crap, my ass always points too your country.

Just something to ponder over...

which means that from down here we get to see the prettest / best side of you. :rolleyes:

of course the filp side of your post is that whenever I take a dump my ass is pointed right back at ya bud! :p


anyway back to other matters.....So monkeyboy/girl
how long have you had these urges to have oral sex with Halibut???? :confused:
And does this mean that you have given up on the Gerbils?

[Jorvik]

Monkeyboy, you're pretty screwed up.

I mean, seriously now, whats wrong with you? Your momma never hugged you? Did you fall in a tank of human waste as a baby and nobody bothered to fish you out for a week? Drink too much tang?

[monkeyboy424]

DAve W, why do you keep calling Jorviks mom a halibut?

:rolleyes:

[DaveW]

Mmmmm....Tang! :D

[Jorvik]

Originally posted by monkeyboy424
DAve W, why do you keep calling Jorviks mom a halibut?

:rolleyes:

If thats your bag, sure. My mom is fat and ugly. I don't get why anybody would want to have sexual relations with her in the first place. Especially with her age and all. I mean, come on, you might be 12 years old monkeyboy, but I think you can do better than my mom. Like a shaved orangutan or something.

[monkeyboy424]

i never thought you would go as low to insult your own mother....


yah well i am 15 so you better fix that whole analysis of yours...

ass

[DaveW]

I think you'll find he was refering to your mental age in that post monkeyinfant424. :rolleyes:

[Jorvik]

Ooooh, monkeyboy's a big boy now. 15. What are you using, dog years or something? I think we can all agree that you deserve to be smacked.

[monkeyboy424]

really now, both of you should go suck a lemon....

[DaveW]

Better a lemon than a Halibut....err sorry I mean a Mrs Jorvilk. :rolleyes:

Do I have a beautiful talent for making a bad idea seem better than balanced? :confused:
Earlier today someone told me that I do. :confused: :monkey: ........:cool: :D

[Jorvik]

I have no idea what you mean. I think you must be smoking that wacky tobbacky.

[DaveW]

No no wackytabbaccy.
If I had some of that I wouldnt be able to fel my rather painful foot which had a log droped on it this morning (thank god for steel toe boots). :eek: :eek: :(

Instead I'm hitting the burbon this evening. :)


Now repeat after me....

Wibble wibble wibble I'm a tea pot ....but I dont have a pot to p*ss in ok....
So give me some pot dammit

If this post made utterly no sense to you.....CONGRATULATIONS! :D

[Jorvik]

Log...


Log...


Log...


Log...


Log...


Log...

[DaveW]

twig, elf, root, bark....twaddle

twig, elf, root, bark....twaddle

twig, elf, root, bark....twaddle

twig, elf, root, bark....twaddle

twig, elf, root, bark....twaddle

twig, elf, root, bark....twaddle

twig, elf, root, bark....twaddle

twig, elf, root, bark....twaddle

twig, elf, root, bark....twaddle

twig, elf, root, bark....twaddle

twig, elf, root, bark....twaddle




Do I win a prize?:confused: :)

[monkeyboy424]

no but you do get a gold star...

[DaveW]

But, but, but.....I wanted a platinum moon. :(















*cue various mooning jokes* :rolleyes:

[monkeyboy424]

Originally posted by DaveW
But, but, but.....I wanted a platinum moon. :(















*cue various mooning jokes* :rolleyes:

well you cant have one

you ass gremlin

and i will never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever start with the mooning jokes...

[DaveW]

Yes it's true that you should avoid ass jokes

.....Jorvik gets exited enough by your presense as it is! :eek:

[Jorvik]

Now I'm all hot and bothered. Damn you all.

Anywho, I found out that the shingles that we were ripping off of the house we're working on are made of asbestos. Good times

[monkeyboy424]

http://www.pinkbike.com/modules/photo/?op=view&image=116576

ah yes west nile virus fighters...

[Jorvik]

Good job. The image you linked to has been deleted.

Your parents must be VERY proud of you.

[monkeyboy424]

shat

its also to big to post

im sorry you will have to live with out that awsome picture for a while...

[Jorvik]

Hey monkeyboy.

Here I am. Rock you like a hurricane.

[DaveW]

I hope your useing real rocks for that Jorvik.....big ones too. :devil: :D

[monkeyboy424]

the answer to your question is obviously: chiquitia bannana.

idiots.

[Jorvik]

Ooooo, monkeyboy. Trying to pass of random **** as an answer. I'll slap you with a lemur.

[DaveW]

Originally posted by Jorvik
I'll slap you with a lemur.

It might be a tad old fashioned ......But I still say that you get better results when you use an electric eel for slapping the likes of him/her/it. :)

[monkeyboy424]

i would definatly prefer the eel

[DaveW]

Originally posted by monkeyboy424
i would definatly prefer the eel

Muahahahaha
Ah you pitiable fool you have fallen for our masterful trap! :devil:

BRING OUT THE LEMURS!!!!!!!!:devil: :devil:

[Jorvik]

Once again we have demonstrated how evil will always win, because good is dumb.

[monkeyboy424]

i can convert....

tto evil that is....

[Jorvik]

Go suck an egg.

[DaveW]

an ostrich egg....nicely fermented but of course. :D



I saw a rider fall 10ft off an Northshore stunt today.
he hit the ground & quickly stood up......just in time to get hit by his bike, knocking him flat again.:eek:


He was ok...sorta.
Was I wrong to laugh my ass off?
He thought so. :devil:

[Jorvik]

Don't worry, laughing at somebody getting hurt is kosher.

Thats what I did when I heard Christopher Reeves fell off a horse. HA HA HA!

[monkeyboy424]

i am back from northstar with my first offical experience of DHing, and waht can i say


WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DaveW]

Monkeyboy :mad:

That last post.......You are so majestic....so skillful in the way you make me sick.


DIE DAMM YOU DIE!!:devil:

[Jorvik]

Quite.

In the words of Austin Powers, "WHY WON'T YOU DIE?!?"

[amateur]

i saw a drunk girl fall off a jungle gym friday night. it was a good 4-5 foot fall onto concrete. Rather funny given she landed square on her head. My training kicked in, and her head was stabilized and within 5 minutes she was in the back of my car on her way to the hospital. I was stoked to have my trunks(with gloves and a cpr mask) in the pocket.

She ended up only getting a minor concussion, but still:eek:

[Jorvik]

Thats why you don't drink and play on jungle gyms. I've been preaching that for who knows how many years and they just don't listen...

Except for you monkeyboy, feel free to fall on your head.

[DaveW]

Nice work Amateur! :cool: :monkey:

I had yesterday off work and spent it at the beach. it's off season but there were upto 40 swimers in the waterd so I though as the only guard present I'd better hang around just in case (as the Rips were working over time).

Saturday after next I've got the season kick off race the "90 mile classic".
A race from one end of Ninety mile beach to the other the whole distance to be spent in the surf break, except for a break at the half way point where you have to stop and carry the boat over a sandspit & do a 1-2km run inland up to the top of a hill and back before continuing . It takes some 4-5 hours in the IRB at full speed.

I'm gonna be so sore after that!:(


oh yeah .......monkey boy listen to what Jorvik says!:devil:
even though he's a dingbat:rolleyes:

[Jorvik]

DaveW, I'll swim over there and smack you if you're not careful. I've learned all sorts of cool **** with the Marines. I'm now a good grappler (wouldn't be good in competition because all my moves are designed to cripple/kill) and have basic body manipulation DOWN. I'm starting to learn pressure points w/ acupuncture. I'm not about using the actual accupuncture, but instead using those points to kill/otherwise neutralize somebody. SSgt Crust, SSgt Marino and Sgt Arbuckle all know all of this ****, but they won't teach me the pressure points. They're too afraid I'll kill somebody when I'm still a civilian.

And monkeyboy:
Die.

[monkeyboy424]

shut up big bullies.

[DaveW]

Jorvik....marines?
sorry dude but I have been on exersizes with marine recon. back in the early ninetys.....I was far from impresed.
All the gear no idea pretty much sums up their performance.
It was suposed to be a standard, general infanty 2 week jungle combat exersize.
All but one of the yanks were pulled out by the end of day 4 suffering fatique & dehydration, and one cracked up mentaly.
the surviving marine lasted another 2 days before colapseing from heat stroke & exhaustion.
This was a bog standard infanty exersize!
eilte troops my ass.
take away the armored vehicals and aircraft. And what your left with aint too impressive.

[Jorvik]

Fatigue and Dehydration? Thats what happens when you don't get enough food/water.

If you knew what it takes to become a Reconnasaince Marine you'd realize that in combat you'd be damn happy to have them on your side.

[monkeyboy424]

you both make extremley good points....

so please dont mind me, continue your discussion while i go stand in the corner and skoff at you, you underpantsgnomes!

HA!

[Jorvik]

Step 1: Steal Underpants
Step 2:
Step 3: Profit



Monkeyboy, for the first time you said something I find amusing. Have youself a beer on me. Give me your PayPal ID.

[Jorvik]

Better yet, I'll FedEx you one.

IM me your address. I'll send you a Sam Adams on me.

[monkeyboy424]

thanks you thanks you


seriously though, i want a gold star, no beer for me, got it here!

just make a gold star in paint and post it here...

NOW

[DaveW]

Ok here ya go.:rolleyes:

[amateur]

What the hell is wrong with me? I'm like a medical aid magnet! Today at lunch, there was an accident that can only be described as "gnar". An old guy hit a girl in a crosswalk and sent her flying a good 15-20ft into a tree and wall. I ended up running to her, had some friends stop traffic, blah. She ended up needing rescue breathing! (2 summers of guarding and i've had one neck/back and one anaphalactic shock and within a week, 2 crazy things happen) I ended up missing 5th&6th period and going with the medics to the hospital.

To those who care- Do SOMESORT of first aid/bls/cpr...at some point in time, it will save your ass, or someone elses.

I now permanently keep a box of gloves in the side panel of my car door and a little micro shield in the side of that box.

WOW-craziness:confused: :dead:

[monkeyboy424]

Originally posted by DaveW
Ok here ya go.:rolleyes:

that star is yellow, I CLEARLY ASKD FOR GOLD!


ameture, way to ****ing go man, way to ****ing go!!!

that is ****ing awsome,

[DaveW]

Amateur....YOU DA MAN! :cool: :D

monkeyboy....you don't deserve real gold.
So fake gold (yellow like your spine) is what you get.:p

[Jorvik]

Good to go Amateur. Savin' lives is good.

Unlike monkeyboy.