=þ

[Jorvik]

Thats weak. Also, 3 replies in a row is a BLATENT post count inflation. I hate you and want you to die.

[monkeyboy424]

is that so?

well your mom wears army boots :p :eviltongu :evil: :devil: :eek:

[Jorvik]

My mom does indeed own a pair of polished black 1940s paratrooper boots. She's broken a hickory kitchen spoon across my ear, spilled boiling oil on my arm, given me a concussion, and slapped me in the face with a pasta strainer.

I had all of them coming to me too. Except for the oil deal, she swivled around too fast with a pan containing said oil.

I love my ma.

[amateur]

Jorvik's mommy abused him...no wonder he's so hostile

[Jorvik]

Thats not abuse, thats proper upbringing. Every kid needs a smack now and then, no matter what the child psychologists say.

[DaveW]

Strangely enough I agree with Jorvik. :confused:

As I allways say ....It'll do the lad good to get a bit of senseless violence into him! :D :devil: :monkey:

So there you no better then third place placers. :p :p :p



And thus the posting god of this thread has spoken!


what .....an ego!!!!.......ME!!!!!!!!!! :confused: :confused: :monkey:
what are you on about?

[DaveW]

Whoops I forgot....the above post of mine was post #157 on this thread.

................errr so I guess that this is post #158 then. :rolleyes:




Nayh nayh monkey boy has cooties:p
Nayh nayh monkey boy has cooties:p
Nayh nayh monkey boy has cooties:p
Nayh nayh nayh nayh nayh!!!:p :p

:D

[monkeyboy424]

sorry i just got back from a weekend cruise with the seascouts on a 95 ft ex navy/ex coastguard ship. with a bunch of hot girls none the less...

but alass all day on saturdayi was queesy

i got to sail under

the san mateo bridge
the bay bridge
and the world faomus golden gate bridge

reading MBA and siting on a boat that is in some pretty big waves is pretty un plesent



READ MY FRIGGEN SIG!!! I HAVE THE COOTY SHOT! HOW CAN I HAVE COOTIES IF I HAVE THE SHOT?!?!?!?!? YOU JUST BROKE THE RECESS CODE!!!!!!

[Jorvik]

It is a new strain. Somebody combined Cooties with HIV. Bastards!

[amateur]

as some of you may have heard from the other site, you have the fakie aids now.

[DaveW]

WTF!!!!!! is a recess code?????
Cooties and HIV combined...sounds bad,
bad like say ........combining Bill Gates and Saddam Hussain! :eek: :eek:


#159 :D

[Jorvik]

I'm lost about the recess code too. I don't remember any of that from my recess days. Maybe you went to a "special" school.

[DaveW]

Originally posted by Jorvik
I'm lost about the recess code too. I don't remember any of that from my recess days. Maybe you went to a "special" school.

He musta done cos like we din ave no code @ ours.


So any way .......how does it feel to be a third getter Jorvik? :p :D

#160

[Jorvik]

Bad, but not as terrible as I imagined. Sort of like the morning after being *gently* sodomized. You know, with copious lubricant and whatnot. DaveW knows what I'm talking about.

[Jorvik]

btw: 89

[DaveW]

Originally posted by Jorvik
Bad, but not as terrible as I imagined. Sort of like the morning after being *gently* sodomized. You know, with copious lubricant and whatnot. DaveW knows what I'm talking about.

LOL
Nice one........ya bastard!!!!!:mad:

jk:rolleyes: :D :D

#161.......by the way your not getting a bit bitter and twisted about these post numbers are you??

[Jorvik]

I've been bitter and twisted for years. The post numbers don't affect me in the least. Grrrrrr.

[monkeyboy424]

surrrrre they dont


you just keeep thinkin that




( man it is amazing how Un-quick witted i am on the internet)

[Jorvik]

True. The humane thing to do is to euthanize you. I've got a meat tenderizer that should give a crippling blow to the base of your skull swung hard enough. I'll need somebody to hold you down though, you'll probably be all pissing and moaning, taking your euthanasia like a bitch.

I'm especially twisted and bitter today, I'm writing a ****ty paper for a ****ty class. Eh, better than real work I suppose.

[monkeyboy424]

you would do that? good i need a massage....

[Jorvik]

I'm too tired to belittle you. I'll just go with the classic "you have a little girl's penis" routine.

Ahem. You have a little girl's penis.

[monkeyboy424]

lol




DAMNIT I CANT COME BACK EVEN LAMELY!!!!!

[DaveW]

Ohh dear Joviks Bitter and twisted, causeing him to pick on lil girls again.
Tsk tsk tsk......Now you know that aint right Jorvik.....If you can't play nice,
we will have to put you back in that special lil room we have for you. :mad: :devil: :dead:
with a drug crazed transvestite who escaped to south america at the end of the war as your ....."therapist"!!!!!!:eek: :devil: :dead: :eek:

[Jorvik]

"I'll take the rapist for 400!"

"thats therapist Mr. Connery."

[monkeyboy424]

.......

[DaveW]

Originally posted by monkeyboy424
.......

AND THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH FROM YOU TOO MONKEYBOY !!!!!:mad: :mad:
Or it's therapist time for you too. :eek: :eek:



oh yeah and just for Joriks benifit...this is post #163
:p :D

[Jorvik]

Oh DaveW, how you completly chap my ass...

On a totally different note, Monster Energy drinks are perhaps the best consumable ever invented. Well, aside from gold flake vodka, but I'm under the legal alcoholic drinking age, so we'll pretend I don't know what an entire liter of the stuff tastes like.

[monkeyboy424]

haha


i have NO tolerance for that ****


it isnt funny either


DAMN THIS PEER PRESSURE

[DaveW]

Originally posted by monkeyboy424

DAMN THIS PEER PRESSURE


Give in to the dark side 424 you cannot resist forever.


Oh and Jorvik......any chaffing has nothing I repeat NOTHING!!!!! to do with me.
But I'd suggest you use more Vasiline for what ever it is that you have been doing. :eek:

[Jorvik]

I prefer Aquaphor over Vasoline. It hydrates as well as lubricates!

[DaveW]

I'm not sure what's worse.
The fact that you are such an expert on *ahem* "Personal lubrication".

Or the fact that your so happy to discuss this expertise in public.



:( :rolleyes:

:p :D

[monkeyboy424]

Originally posted by DaveW
I'm not sure what's worse.
The fact that you are such an expert on *ahem* "Personal lubrication".

Or the fact that your so happy to discuss this expertise in public.



:( :rolleyes:

:p :D


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahah ahahahahaahhaahhahaahahahahhaah

[Jorvik]

Yeah, you can PM me if you need any more details about personal lubricants. AQUAPHOR AQUAPHOR AQUAPHOR! ;) :D

[monkeyboy424]

haha

[DaveW]

I'll....err......Keep that in mind Jorvik.:confused:

*quietly start's shuffling backwards away from jorvik towards the room's Exit*


#166 chap away ol chap. ;) :rolleyes: :D

[Jorvik]

Yes, it would be quite prudent to fear all that which is Jorvik.

[monkeyboy424]

man


i am on top


again

[DaveW]

Originally posted by Jorvik
Yes, it would be quite prudent to fear all that which is Jorvik.

Yes much like people of yore kept a safe distance from leppers where ever posible.

But Monkey boy....you might have been on top (however briefly ).........but you can never top or topple me! :p :D

#167

[Jorvik]

Originally posted by DaveW
Yes much like people of yore kept a safe distance from leppers where ever posible.


Exactly! Now you're getting it!

[monkeyboy424]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jorvik]

Monkeyboy, I've said it before and I'll say it again.

You are a post whore.

"!!!!!!!!!!!" or "haha" will not do here.

Get into an argument, throw some insults around. It isn't just about being on top.

[DaveW]

Originally posted by Jorvik
Monkeyboy, I've said it before and I'll say it again.

You are a post whore.

"!!!!!!!!!!!" or "haha" will not do here.

Get into an argument, throw some insults around. It isn't just about being on top.


And what's worse is that twice now in the last month you have made Jorvik post something that has merit.

Monkey boy/girl
I demand an immediate appology for you makeing Jorvik (temporarily) Socially aceptable!:mad:
This just won't do at all young man. :mad: :mad:

[Jorvik]

It certainly won't do at all!

We're waiting...

[amateur]

looks like i'm missing out on a lot of intelligent conversation




oh...wait, nevermind

[Jorvik]

'tis soothe... thyne eyes have forgone much speak which behoves thee.

[monkeyboy424]

i am not a post whore!!!


i am a monkeyBOY


well

atleast it was a cahnge from his same old beligerant self

[Jorvik]

GODDAMN MOTHER FUC|<ER! I'LL TEAR YOUR TEETH OUT AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR ASS. AND I'LL ENJOY IT!

REPENT!!! REPENT!!!


I'm a little high strung today. I've got my Physics final project due in four hours, and I've only done the sources of error. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, I wonder if I'm going to pass this class.

[monkeyboy424]

yah that sucks


wanna hear a funny stoery?


ok ill tell it any way


i was in my math class and since i didnt study for the test i got the lowest grade in the calss

-40

16/56

28%

well these kids were betting on MY grade
so one, a football player, tried to grab my test and show it to every one, and he also wanted to see my grade so he could win.

but as soon as his mits went on my test i punched him in the nose not very hard and gave him a bloody nose. My teacher saw the whole thing, since she is cool and she knew that i was a lil pissed with my self, sent him to get tissue and then she told him to get a detention. the greatest ting is now this kid is scared of me and would literally kiss my feet if i asked him to.

cool huh

oh dont worry i am not that dumb

i was gettin higher grades in an HONOR class but i transferd out because it went to fast

i am just lazy

[Jorvik]

Originally posted by monkeyboy424

i am just lazy

Story of my life...

Back to the story of YOUR life. Why on earth would you ever want a football player kissing your feet? I mean, I'm cool with you getting your jollies like that, but I mean... geez, its more than just a little weird, man. Its fine to have those kind of feelings, but, well, maybe you should talk to your guidance counselour or parents about them. You know, instead of beating some guy so that you can play the whole "dominatrix" thing, in school no less! Don't even get me started with your teacher, she (or he, I don't hate, whatever starts your motor) needs to get her (or his, you know, its alright this day and age, don't be ashamed, I'm fine with it, its no problem, just don't grab my ass and we'll be cool) morals in check.

[monkeyboy424]

you are a very sarcastic person


oh yah

i might be coming your way this summer!!!

my brother gets to go to europe..... with my cousins becasue they are the same age (12)...

any way my mom has good freinds in mass.

so we were talkin and she said we might get to go for a while
and if you are in boston, look for a kid on a balck kona scab and a marz scab... and dont beat his ass

[Jorvik]

I live just a few minutes from Boston. I'll be riding up a storm in the city once all the snow melts. Drop me a line when you come, might be able to get a ride going.

And I'm not going to mention your not-so subconcious attraction to your brother and cousins. You sick sick bastard. :nuts:

[monkeyboy424]

ok i had to read that line like 5 times but then i finally got it and i now OFFICIALLY hate you. 1. i am not gay 2. i am not interested in incest 3. let alone GAY INCEST! alright? alright.

[monkeyboy424]

:nuts: :stupid: :oink: :blah: :sneaky: :heart: :help: :dead: :devil: :confused: :mad: :cool: ;) :o: :) :eviltongu :thumb: :nopity: :think: :evil: :dancing: :love: :angry: :monkey: :eek: :rolleyes: :p :D :(

[DaveW]

I think that you should both seek good pyschiatric help!

Oh and monkey boy ......I'm still waiting for that appology young man.:mad:


#169

[Jorvik]

Originally posted by monkeyboy424
ok i had to read that line like 5 times but then i finally got it and i now OFFICIALLY hate you. 1. i am not gay 2. i am not interested in incest 3. let alone GAY INCEST! alright? alright.

Hey man, YOU brought it up.

Apologize to DaveW before he goes into a drunken stupor and tries to molest a wallaby. I've been there, and it ain't pretty.

[DaveW]

Originally posted by Jorvik
before he goes into a drunken stupor and tries to molest a wallaby. I've been there, and it ain't pretty.


Nope can't say that I've been there Jorvik.....but apparently you have according to your post. :eek: :eek:
Oh and dumbdumb....... Wallabys are native to Aussie .....not New Zealand.
which is about as close to Aussie as New York is to Greenland.
:rolleyes:



oh looky looky post #170. :D

[Jorvik]

for some reason I thought you did live in Oz. My bad. Anyways, it doesn't really matter, the United States of America is the center of the universe anyways.

Anywho, back to molesting animals. What do you find to molest over there? You seem like a sheep molesting kind of guy. Me, I'll feel up the occasional squirrel or rabbit. Nothing too big, I've run into problems before.





If I seem more perverted than usual, blame it on the killer flu I've got going on. Temperature ranged from 101 to 95.8 back up to 99 in a 8 hour period. :nuts:

[monkeyboy424]

apolgoy? apgolgy for what? hating you and wanting you to die?

[DaveW]

Bad time to be having the flu ... Have you heard about that new one that's spreading around the world?
It started in Asia and is killing a lot of people. :( world health authorities are extremely worryed about it as it is spreading fast.

oh and monkey boy the feeling is mutual.......DIE DAMMIT DIE!!!!

:rolleyes: :D

[Jorvik]

Yeah, I'm reading stuff about that flu now, hoping it isn't the one I've got. Ugh. Still going to class, though, and lacrosse practice as well. What can I say? I'm a beast!

[DaveW]

Beast??????
what kinda beast..........a really stoopid one like a Platypus?
or a sloth maybe.....perhapes a Manatee?
or how 'bout a Wombat?



#172

[Jorvik]

I've had quite enough of your animal molesting perversion. I mean, seriously now, why do you have to bring that sort of thing up on public forums all the time? Honestly now.

[monkeyboy424]

for once i agree with you JORVIK. dave, i think you really need to find A LOT of help FAST.

BTW, if you are ever in the city be sure to post up so i can hide my dog from you

[DaveW]

I didn't bring it up!!! :mad: .......DID NOT ,NOT, NOT, NOT, NOT!!!!!! :p :p

IT WAS THAT *sneer* JORVIK!
he's the naughty one.

He should be forced to ride Monkeyboys pink Huffy in penance. :devil: :eek:



#173:p :p

[monkeyboy424]

no no no no no


my huffy is purple

but the tassles ans seat are pink

[Jorvik]

Fear me.

[monkeyboy424]

take me seriously

[Jorvik]

Your atrocious typing will never allow that to happen.

And yes, I have read your sig. No excuse. If you post on the most useless thread on all of RM, you must type well and not bring up molesting animals. *COUGH* DAVEW *COUGH*

[monkeyboy424]

lol

[DaveW]

Ahh few gawds sakes!!
I keep telling ya it's that bloody Jorvik....See he just did it again!!!:eek:
You can cough all you like Jorvik ...but we all know it's really you that's to blame.


#174







have you ever tried fondling monkey nuts?

[Jorvik]

Originally posted by DaveW

have you ever tried fondling monkey nuts?

I'm actually laughing out loud right now. You should put that in your sig.

[amateur]

what's up fockers?

having reviewed the thread, i know there's nothing new...

Daveyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy guess who made guards again this year...hoorah for cold water, 9hr training/re-cert days

[DaveW]

WOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO Amateur!!!!
Nice one mate.:D
I'm on my last 4 patrols including this weekend :(
And next week we lose our Nor Cal exchange lifeguard. she has to head home (somewhere about 1.5hrs south of San Francisco I think ).
When does your season start?


#175...think I might stop at 2 hundy.:confused:

[Jorvik]

If you stopped, my life would no longer be worth living. :(

[amateur]

well, assuming i get hired(which i should) then it starts arounf june 15 or so on any consistent basis. hopefully i'll get a schedule this year instead of just filling in wherever like last year. oh well, i'm not one to quibble with $12+ and hour :D

[Jorvik]

I have absolutly nothing relevant to say. Thus, I will give you personal information that you do not want to hear about.

And so it begins.

I was taking a crap today. It was one of those great ones, big, but slides right out, but not so fast that you can't enjoy your reading material. Anyways, after I wiped, I flushed (like I often do on weekends). This would normally not be terribly unusual, except this time, the flush was different. I have grown accustomed to hearing a nice solid flush as I leave the bathroom. This time, I knew that something was WRONG by the sound. THE TOILET WAS BACKED UP! I'm not one to panic and this time was no exception. Thinking quickly, I grabbed the plunger in the closet. I dove back into the bathroom and shoved that plunger in the bowl. Vigorously I pumped the plunger up and down in the toilet, feverish I was in attempting to clear the blockage. At last, my efforts were rewarded, and my **** went down. Disaster averted.

[DaveW]

After reading that I feel that I can no longer consider you to be full of Sh*t.
:D

Ahh a good bowel movement is one of life's little pleasures.



#176....end minus 24 and counting.

[Jorvik]

Its true. I can't wait to have another.

[monkeyboy424]

lol


the same thing happened this weekend

i was with some friends at there friends house in Tahoe, and my fried took a fat one and even had to come out to tell us he would be a while

well after he went his dad went maybe 30 min later and only took a pee and the thing started to overflow

and they were in there for 45 min tryin to fix it!

well that was my story and man is XC sking hard

[DaveW]

Yeah XC ski hammers ya hamstrings and the backs of your arms.
Give me my twin tips and off piste chutes / drops / bowls / cliff hops any day.
I'm off to my ski lodge this weekend to get it ready for winter ski season.....putting a new kitchen in. :D

[Jorvik]

While you fools strap wood to your feet and invite knee and ankle injuries, I masturbate furiously. Its the only thing winter is good for.

[Jorvik]

I just realized I said I "masturbate furiously" on a public internet forum. I am beyond help.

[DaveW]

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

You young man are a sick lil puppy.



#178 the end minus 22.

[Jorvik]

I apologize. Unlike Monkeyboy. Where's that apology, ass?

[DaveW]

Holy hell!!!!!!:eek:

I don't belive it ....one of ya actually has manners (we will forget for now the manners which caused you to need to appoligise) will wonders never cease?

monkey boy appoligise.......:rolleyes: LOL as if that's gonna happen, I mean what next, you gonna tell me he's using a knife & fork now. :rolleyes:

:D

#179

[monkeyboy424]

im not sorry


buwhahahahahahah

[amateur]

yar...at least mr. bloodeaxe has a sense of decency...Davey don't leave...

[monkeyboy424]

oh shut up

[DaveW]

Originally posted by amateur
yar...at least mr. bloodeaxe has a sense of decency...Davey don't leave...


Ok ok.....since ya asked so nice an all ......I'll stay and abuse monkeyboy for a while longer then.

psst....monkey boy has fleas! pass it on.:D

#180...Whoop!:rolleyes:

[Jorvik]

I'm eating with a knife and fork right now. Coincidence, or something far more sinister? You decide.

[monkeyboy424]

DMAN right i have fleas!!! the kind with that new vicious asian pnunomina (sp?) !!!!


i am gonna come and sleep in your beds and give you each this little poisen i have nibbiling at my back!!!


MUAHHAQHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Jorvik]

Are you on drugs? I'm positivly convinced you've gotten yourself hooked on the smack and are typing in a heroin induced trance. This can be the only explanation for your terrible grammar and spelling.

Notice: grammar is spelled with an "a" and not an "e" at the end. Knowing this will spare you much grief. Example: trying to type out something like "ur grammer n spellin iz terribul." Thank your lucky stars I am here to save you from this embarrassment.

[monkeyboy424]

why thank you my good sir, and i am sorry, thats right i am sorry.



;)

[Jorvik]

Damn Skippy!

Time to go kick some ass in lacrosse.

[monkeyboy424]

cool

[Jorvik]

Again, blatant post inflation. I mean, seriously, one word? Weak dude, weak.

If I was your mother I'd shove a hot poker up your ass.

[monkeyboy424]

i have had that experience...

and that is why i do not drink anymore

[DaveW]

Originally posted by monkeyboy424
i have had that experience...

and that is why i do not drink anymore

Well as you are but a 15 year old.....serves you right for turning to drink so young.

But what's worse is that from Jorvicks last post I gather that he is in fact a
sexually repressed transexual who wishes to indulge in some weird and
twisted, Incestuous, Sadomasicistic, bondage & disipline!!!!!!!:eek: :eek:

Jorvik I take my hat off to you.
you are with out a doubt the most twisted and perverted monkey here. :cool:


#181

[thaflyinfatman]

#1.....
:devil:

[Jorvik]

To be fair, that last post was written under then influence of copious amounts of Jack Daniel's.

Although, yes, I am REDICULOUSLY ****ed up in the head.

I blame society.

[monkeyboy424]

Originally posted by thaflyinfatman
#1.....
:devil:


a new comer!

what should we do?!?!?!?!

[Jorvik]

A good question.

My answer is simple, and involves mango juice, a three-legged hog, and a jump rope. DaveW knows what I'm talking about :sneaky:

[monkeyboy424]

lol

that was pretty good


well

it is offical

i am comin to boston this summer

but my mom is paranoid seh wount let me ride with people she doesnt know

bah

[Jorvik]

:(

Just let her read all of my posts. That should change her mind about me!

[DaveW]

Originally posted by Jorvik
A good question.

My answer is simple, and involves mango juice, a three-legged hog, and a jump rope. DaveW knows what I'm talking about :sneaky:


Yes but Knowing the Flying fatman as I do.....I'm afraid that that wont be enough!:(
I tried it on him last year....The Swine acutally enjoyed it!!!!:eek:

I what I sugest is tyhat we pull out the big guns :devil: :monkey:

This will mean useing a Pneumatic jackhammer, a case of thai fish paste, a case of tigerbalm and a drug crazed tranvestite that escaped to south america after the war!!!!!!! :eek: :eek:
Oh and of course not forgetting the gerbils. ;) not for the flyingfatman you understand but meerly to keep me "amused" whilst listening to his screaming. :D

[monkeyboy424]

oh ok then


sounds good

you guys probably think i am a boring.

all it is is that i cant express my imagition over the internet.

dont worry, i am goin to therapy for it

[Jorvik]

This being a biking forum, I think it only fair to use Chamois Butter instead of Tiger Balm. Perhaps we should have amateur show him how to contract herpes... the HARD way.

[DaveW]

Hmmm Chamois Butter eh.......well alright then just this once then.:(

By the way has anyone seen my gerbil? :confused:
One of them escaped.:mad:
It's easy to spot, it's the one with the smelly brown splodges on it....and a nervous tick. :D

[Jorvik]

I wonder what gerbil tastes like? I'd assume it'd taste like squirrel. Real gamey, stringy meat.

[monkeyboy424]

that my friend is disgusting

:nuts: :blah: :stupid:

[Jorvik]

I assume you never had squirrel then. Most people don't realize this, but you can actually cook and eat them with the skin still on. Very good like that, gives it a bit of a spicy flavor. I'm a fan.

I thought I was hardcore when I bagged and ate my first squirrel at age 11 with my grandpa's old 22 single shot rifle. My old soccer coach, who grew up near St. Croix on the islands, topped me. He and his friends would do the same, only at age 4-5 and with slings. He was the one who told me about cooking it with the skin on. He was a good guy.

[monkeywench]

When my Dad moved to Canada from Scotland at age 26, he was boarding at a farm for a few weeks.
His first night the farmers wife served him a big ol' stew. Dad thought "mmm good, maybe rabbit?"
Later that night the farmer took him out to the barn and showed him the porcupine carcass. Good stew.

[DaveW]

Ah.....A new minion for me to brainwash and unleash upon the unsuspecting web to do my evil scheme's.:D :devil: :monkey: :devil: :devil:

Welcome to Da Monkey :D
Whatever you do don't trust Jorvik....he's naughty:(

Porcupine stew eh....sounds good.
handy hint for the future....If you ever in nepal to go mountain biking.
DONT try the local pickled Locqust (sp?)
It's really bad as far as pickled insects go.;)

[Jorvik]

Originally posted by DaveW

Whatever you do don't trust Jorvik....he's naughty:(


I'm naughty? I pale in comparison to you and monkeyboy. Monkeyboy has openly admitted to molesting stuffed animals. That sick sick boy.

This thread has gone downhill in a good way, thanks to me.

[monkeyboy424]

i deny any proof of me molesting animals, let alone stuffed animals.


waht you mean??!?! how did you get these pictures? but but but but butb ut butb it wasnt me!

[DaveW]

Ah my foolish young apprentise.....in time you will learn the blackmail side of the force.http://www.computerpannen.com/cwm/contrib/owen/vader1.gif

But in the meantime hurry up and pay up or the pics get posted to your mom. :devil:

[monkeyboy424]

no no you wouldnt, would you? NO NO! please not to my mom!!! have you seen her when she is angry?!?!?!?!?!

[Jorvik]

I've already told you what my mom does when she gets mad at me. Ah, she's a strong woman my mom. She'll just as soon beat the living piss out of you or sneeze.

[monkeyboy424]

well its ok dave sent he pictures to me they are save in my hand now...

oh hey mom. what? hey dont look in that evvelope! no that sint me!!! whaddya mean thats mea and a pig havin sex?

oh man ill get back to yous guys
:dead: :nuts:

[Jorvik]

Well, that has been "played out." At least thats what the kids these days would say. God darn youngin's, always trying to steal my moonshine.

Speaking of stealing my moonshine, I had an entire case of Boar's Head Ale stolen from me. If anybody sees it, give me a PM.

[monkeyboy424]

i drank it all last nite some nice person claiming he was a space monkey and the messiah said i could have it

[Jorvik]

I have no choice but to kidnap your grandmother.

[DaveW]

This is good.......for I dem it best if she is kept out of public circulation.
any way we had to take the beer off your hands..........cos it seemed like a good idea at the time. :D

[Jorvik]

And in conclusion, I hate you all.

Case was found empty. Asses were whupped. Money is owed.

[amateur]

jeeeze...i've really been slacking. i'll makesure to come back periodically and kick your collective asses off the top

[Jorvik]

I'll burn my eyes out before I give in.

-Smashing Pumpkins

Listen to it, love it.

[monkeyboy424]

sorry for not bein around guys

i no yall missed me

[Jorvik]

No, not really.

In fact, you could say not only did we not missed you, but we were glad.

[DaveW]

Ahh back on top where I belong........

LOOK UPON MY POSTS OH YE MONKEY'S AND DESPAIR!! FOR MY NAME IS SPACEMONKEY MONKEY OF MONKEY'S!!
Lord of all that is Ridemonkey DH archives and defender of the 10 banana's, and keeper of the sacred photoshop.



#187:D

[Mitzel123]

aha, i've got a custom title too, and one that matters.AND I GOT A BIGGER FONT THAN YOU!!! :blah: :eviltongu :evil: :D

[DaveW]

THAT'S
ABSOLUTE
RUBBISH!!!

:p

*Note to self.....
ask the prison warder to remove mitzels internet access for the next 6
months, on account of his disruptive behavior.

[Jorvik]

Mitzel may have a bigger "font" than DaveW, but it is safe to say my "font" is smaller than both of yours!

HA!

[monkeyboy424]

you may have a smaller font then them, but i have a smaller font then you

[Jorvik]

Very well. It is decided that monkeyboy has the smallest "font" by his own admission. By "font", of course, I mean penis.

[monkeyboy424]

DAMN YOU

im not small in the pants, but dave is

[DaveW]

Originally posted by Jorvik
Mitzel may have a bigger "font" than DaveW, but it is safe to say my "font" is smaller than both of yours!

HA!

Yes monkey boy but by his own admision jorviks is even smaller than mine.
and you stateed that yours is smaller than his.
So Q.E.D. you are the cocktail weiner in a salami shop. :p

#189

[Jorvik]

I'll say it, I'm not impressive. Judging by DaveW's post count, however, he has a HUGE dong. HUGE!

I think it was 6th grade when I stopped doing the "my dick is bigger than your dick" thing. Instead, I started saying "My dick is so much smaller than your dick, its rediculous. I mean, really, what the hell am I supposed to do with this thing? Any smaller, it'd be a vagina!"

Man, I make this thread so vulgar. My apologies.

On a side note, I got cross-checked in the chin today during lacrosse practice. Get this, too. The fool who cross checked me is the VERY SAME FOOL WHO STOLE MY CASE OF BEER! You'd think he would've learned not to wrong me after I gave him a proper schalacking a few days ago, but NOOOOOOOOOOO. Seems like Jorvik is going to have to lay down some honey on his genitals and throw a bee hive at him.


BOO YAH!

[DaveW]

Yes ok I admit it I'm huge.:(
........ly average
:rolleyes:

But on another note, in 36 hours the world rally champs is happening 3km from my familys holiday home......And I'm gonna be there!!!

WOOHOO!!!!!! GO Tommi Mac.
:D :D

#190

[Jorvik]

Lucky bastard!

I guess I'll see the rerun in a month or so on Speedvision... :(

[monkeyboy424]

yah well i dont even get speed vision

[Jorvik]

Yeah, I love my new Digital Cable. Digital! I've well over 400 channels, yet I watch 2. History Channel and Speed. Thats it.

[monkeyboy424]

yah i just got cable recently also....


all i watch is discovery and nickeloden

and occiationally the normal channels like fox and abc

[Jorvik]

Nickelodeon...

Wow.

Are you 8 years old?

[monkeyboy424]

it was a joke yuh bloke

[Jorvik]

Don't try to "rap" your way out of this, you young whippersnapper!

I'll kindnap your grandmother.

[monkeyboy424]

that would be hard figurin she is dead penis breath


you paly ball like a girl

[Jorvik]

Thats why she didn't move around much...

Anywho, I ball like a savage. Today in my school's Lacrosse game I beasted 3 huge hits today. Last saturday I dislocated some dumb attackman's shoulder. Little bastard shouldn't have been trying to call "Man," I was easily 40 pounds more than him and had a full head of steam going. Ahhh, freshmen.

[monkeyboy424]

buwahahahahahahaha

that is good, except for the freshmen part :angry:

this guy joel said "**** your mom" to my friend nick on AIM, so Nick said "im gonna rape your mom" then joel got all pissy and said "thats it im gonna beat your ass, meet me in the parking lot of the bugerking near school" so any way like 200 kids went (really) and joel got his ASSS WOOOOOOPED!!!!!!

joel threw the first punch and skinned the kids forehead, but the kid nick made contact like 5times! two to the face and three to the stomach. it was great! joel thinks he won to that is waht realyl cracks me up

the funny part is joel acts hella "hard" and always trys to "punk" kids, but really abotu anyone could beat his ass.

[Jorvik]

I know plenty people like that. I don't act tough, I'm actually a hella nice guy, but people know that I can and will kill them if the situation calls for it. But I have a tiny penis.

[monkeyboy424]

you have a small penis? you are a brave man my friend

[Jorvik]

Actually, no, its not small at all. A bit bigger than average to boot. I just like saying that I've got a small penis for some reason.

[monkeyboy424]

oh ok...

well that is nice to know

hey wtf happened to that freak we call dave?

[Jorvik]

yeah, what a bastard, leaving me here stuck with you!

I'm so lonesome, I could cry...

[monkeyboy424]

thanks


i am already cryin

[amateur]

this most recent topic of penis size has discouraged me from posting thus far, but it's so tempting. now we all know why monkey boy is a boy...not monkey man

[monkeyboy424]

just like robin, i will always be the boy wonder

[Jorvik]

Oh my. I am actually laughing out loud (LOLing, if you will) at amateur's post.

What is making me laugh right now is that I think monkeyboy missed the message completly.

[monkeyboy424]

why yes, yes i did

[Jorvik]

Fantastic! I'm glad you're gullible.

Anywho, I just used my infallible powers of speach to get a baked potato cooked and then run over to my house. I am a genius. A genius with bacon bits and shredded cheddar cheese waiting for my potato...

Discuss.

[monkeyboy424]

you and i both know that normal potatos dont do that....

only the potatoes with the luck of the irish will do that!

[DaveW]

HE'S BAAAAAACK!!!!!!!! :devil: :dead: :monkey:


Well kiddies this is the last post your gonna see from me for awhile.
RM has been loading funny for me for the past while, which is why you haven't seen me around.
It loads the ad's and banners fine but then slows down to JUST 18 -40 bytes per second!!!!!!!!
for the rest of the page. So it can take over an hour and a half to load a RM page.
It is only happening to me on this site??????
So while this is happening ....hasta la vista baby.:(
Ah well in the meentime have fun guys and girls....and those of indeterminate sexual status.;)

In the mean time I shalll retreat to the mighty Vorb!!! (http://www.vorb.org.nz)

ciao :(

[Jorvik]

Thats too bad. Ah well, I guess I'll have to whup you guys into shape now that DaveW's gone.

WHUP WHUP WHUP!

[monkeyboy424]

no you wont

yo aint catchin E...

[Jorvik]

I'm eating my little brother's chocolate rabbit that he got for easter. Does this make me a bad person?

[monkeyboy424]

no i am even worse..

i ate my FRIENDS little sisters rabbit taht she got for easter...

i am definatly going to hell

plus, i got a swift kick to the nuts!

[Jorvik]

Wow. You are a terrible person.

And now to go get some vittles and mead from the local pub.

[monkeyboy424]

no i wont let you

[amateur]

"i ate my friend's little sister's rabbit...."

monkeyboy, you feelin alright?

[Jorvik]

Monkeyboy is NEVER feeling alright. All tripping on the uppers and the downers and the lefters and the righters. Kids these days, always "getting jiggy with it" and all that. I'm so old... (18)

[monkeyboy424]

for your information, i am far from getting jiggy with it....

i went to my first school dance in sept. and i was a wall flower.

i really cant stand all that 50cent **** and that otehr rap.

i am the only kid besides the punkrockers who actually listens to rock music.

so dont you ever accuse me of being "jiggy" with it. i will have to donkey punch till your eyes pop out

ass

[monkeyboy424]

double post pandamoniam on my birthday

[Jorvik]

So cute, its your birthday. SUCK IT UP PUSSY BOY!

In the words of the great MW, "I'll kill you in the face"

[monkeyboy424]

no stupid didnt homer simpson say that?

[Jorvik]

I just did a google search. No, Homer Simpson did not say that. Do not detract from the forum legend that is... MW.

[monkeyboy424]

i am sorry.

to punish myself i have nailed my tounge to a 2x4.

[Jorvik]

Why on earth would you nail your tongue to a carbon DH frame? You are silly!

[monkeyboy424]

well it is ok now, i removed my tounge from the 2x4 and now have my tounge pierced.

ladys like it.

[Jorvik]

My girl has been trying to convince me to get my tongue pierced. She just doesn't understand...

[monkeyboy424]

yah after a few days of bein called a flamer, i took the pircing out and super glued my tounge back together with non toxic testors model glue.

[Jorvik]

Word up.

This thread sucks without DaveW. I hate you monkeyboy.

[monkeyboy424]

thats true...

i hate you more ass wipe

[Jorvik]

Why you gotta be profane like that? WHY?

[monkeyboy424]

oh, go wipe an ass

[Jorvik]

I hate you and want you to die so that the DH Archives will be mine and mine alone!

Ever try bungee jumping?

[amateur]

this thread sucks without the aid of senor W :( :(

i tihnk i'm gonna go cry now

[monkeyboy424]

good go we dont want you here any hoo...

yes i have tried bungee jumping


when i was born my doctor droppedme right as i came out and so i went imbillacle(sp) cord bungee jumping

[Jorvik]

Originally posted by amateur
this thread sucks without the aid of senor W :( :(

i tihnk i'm gonna go cry now

Honestly, I don't think it would be nearly as bad if stupid monkeyboy would just stop posting. He brings this glorious thread down with his unkempt shenanagans.

[monkeyboy424]

ass

[DaveW]

Tisk tisk tisk....I leave the thread for just a little while and you all fall to pieces. :(
I have stolen my brothers "puter for a quick post.....he's got a adsl type conection, so its a lot faster. :D

But any way I thought I'd quickly pop my mead in and say it's all a bunch of ass....cos I am the greatest....and you are not....except amateur....hows almost great. :p :p :p

see ya :monkey: 's

[Jorvik]

Rar. I see how it is. Well, I guess it's time for me to call monkeyboy names again.

Monkeyboy: You are stupid and your mom wishes you were never born.

[monkeyboy424]

Jorvik: get it through your fat head, you have no friends.

[Jorvik]

How the hell did you know I have a big head? Only one explanation.

Communist.

[amateur]

Daaaaveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey
i was reading about southern hemisphere swells and thought of you

[Rip]

This is still alive?

[monkeyboy424]

why yyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessss yes it is.

[Jorvik]

Much like the stench of a rotting woodchuck underneath your porch, this thread will never die.

[monkeyboy424]

yup thats right Rip, is that ok?!?!?!?!?!?!?

[Jorvik]

Jesus Monkeyboy, I don't think you've contributed anything even remotely original in this etire thread.

I spit on you and all that you stand for.

[monkeyboy424]

damn you and your quick witty-ness!

ass

[Jorvik]

I mean, dammit man, you suck at life. Thats the real issue here. Your mother probably bathed you in battery acid when you were a baby to make you as dumb as you are.

[monkeyboy424]

**** you man i never met my mom

[Jorvik]

My bad.

Anywho, you still suck at life. May your hair fall out at age 16.

[monkeyboy424]

damn you

you have no sorrow?

that is not surprising

any who, i was kidding to see if you were human and not a NAZI.
well i guess i was wrong

oh yah there is still such thing as jewish nazis(;) ) so dont pull that SH!t on me

[Rip]

Originally posted by monkeyboy424
yup thats right Rip, is that ok?!?!?!?!?!?!?

That is just fine with me.

[monkeyboy424]

oh ok good

[Jorvik]

Originally posted by monkeyboy424
damn you

you have no sorrow?

that is not surprising


I don't believe in emotional masturbation.

[monkeyboy424]

ok that is like the best line ever.

you are now offically a god

[Jorvik]

I have always been a god to myself. The only deity worth worshipping, really.

[monkeyboy424]

you blaspheming heretic

[Jorvik]

poop on your head

[monkeyboy424]

jorvik admit it you have no friends becasue you are a buck-toothed baboon.

[Jorvik]

No, I have no friends because I hit them in the gonads with my shoe when they try to give me a high five.

[monkeyboy424]

hahahah i do that too...

my favorite is "wanna see where the horse bit me?"

(if oyu dont know what that is, you show them your elbow and as they look at it swing your forearm and hit there crotch)

[Jorvik]

You are a bad person.

So am I.

You'd think I'd like you.

Not so.

I fear you might smell.

[monkeyboy424]

www.yousuck.com

[Jorvik]

Originally posted by monkeyboy424
www.yousuck.com

That took me to a few popups. Not quite the revenge I thought you were going to go for. Ah, you're young, you'll get better.

[monkeyboy424]

that is really a site?

i just typed it in

heh heh that is cool

[Jorvik]

You must die, so that I may rule the Downhill Archives with an iron fist!

ALL BOW BEFORE JORVIK!

[monkeyboy424]

yah well i will rule with a CRIMSON FIST!!!!!!!!


BUWHAAHAHAHAHAHA

[Jorvik]

uhhhh. k.

<wondering if monkeyboy actually thinks crimson gloves are manly>

[monkeyboy424]

well stop wondering

ass

[Jorvik]

So you DO think crimson gloves are "where its at." Interesting. Monkeyboy, I think you should have a chat with a psychiatrist.

[monkeyboy424]

funny the pshyciatrist TOLD me to wear the gloves

[amateur]

jeeeeeeze...monkey boy, you just seem to be getting dumber by the minute. you're ruining this forum. be creative and whatnot...otherwise, we may have to kill you and use your skin as part of an elaborate suit

[monkeyboy424]

why kind of elaborate suit?

[Jorvik]

Originally posted by amateur
jeeeeeeze...monkey boy, you just seem to be getting dumber by the minute. you're ruining this forum. be creative and whatnot...otherwise, we may have to kill you and use your skin as part of an elaborate suit

Quite frankly, Monkeyboy isn't good enough to wear as a pair of slacks, regardless of how supple the tanning process makes the hide. Perhaps a nice bowling ball bag... yes, thats it. Bowling ball bag.

Speaking of using human flesh as a suit, I was watching Manhunter the other day. Man, it completly blows Red Dragon out of the water.

I'm off to feed the tribbles a meal of biscuits and oranges.

[amateur]

Originally posted by monkeyboy424
why kind of elaborate suit?
a skin suit you dullard

[Jorvik]

I reckon we are all in agreement. Monkeyboy is a simpleton.

[monkeyboy424]

well atleast i dont insult younger children with such pitter-patter like you gentlemen do.

[Jorvik]

The reason we do this is becuase you insist on misusing words and phrases, such as "pitter patter." Enough of your crass dribble, you are nothing but a dolt.

Listen to Johnny Cash.

[monkeyboy424]

why thank you, i do

[Jorvik]

Ok, if you really DO listen to Johnny Cash, what would you say is your favorite song from The Man in Black?

[monkeyboy424]

well ill have to say that i dont have his albums

BUT!

i do download a lot of his music, and my new favorite is Hurt.


ass

[Jorvik]

I knew you'd say that. I KNEW IT.

My favorite is "A Boy Named Sue." No song will ever touch the greatness that is that song. NONE. Granted, Hurt is a great song, but nothing will ever touch "... Sue". Cash seems to be able to make any cover his own song. Listen to "One" off of American III.

[monkeyboy424]

yah i no i am a cheap kid....

all of my money gosinto fixing my bike. so naturally, i download music..

around christmas and my birthday, when i load up on gift cards to Tower records and the Wearhouse etc etc, i will buy CDS but that is about that.

have you heard Liam Lynchs song "united states of wateva"?

that song is HIlarious

[Jorvik]

That is a funny novelty song, but honestly, why do you shift the music focus from Johnny Cash to a flash in the pan one hit wonder? Sigh.

[monkeyboy424]

well, i no it was out of line, but i had just heard it on the radio about 10 minutes before i posted. that was m second time hearing it, so it was stuck in my head

[Jorvik]

I'll try to forgive you.

[monkeyboy424]

thank you for digging deep into your heart to find the decency to try to forgive me

:eviltongu :nuts:

[amateur]

did he say he forgave you?? NO, he said he'd try

[monkeyboy424]

wellll Excccccccccccuuuuuuuuuuusssssssssseeeeeeeeee me for making a typo.

[Jorvik]

Monkeyboy, go eat a pickle.

[monkeyboy424]

i hate pickles

[amateur]

i think he meant stick the pickle up your bum

[Jorvik]

Please do so. And put it in SIDEWAYS!

[monkeyboy424]

that would suck, then every time i would fart, it would smell like pickles...

[amateur]

i don't think that'd suck at all

[monkeyboy424]

you are both ass fiends.....

[Jorvik]

Monkeyboy, you need to be smacked with a toilet seat.

[monkeyboy424]

a squishy one or a plastic one?


( i wrote this while listenin to jonny cash)